Monthly Archives: March 2024

Because It is EASTER…

Posted on by under Uncategorized

…I feel I should say something about the most important day for Christians, but…

—INSTANT EDIT- Here is my honest belief: Religion is a personal matter. Whether you believe in God of don’t, it is your right; one that probably won’t be taken from you. I don’t care what your belief is, God or Non-God-wise. Slightly beyond that, I do care how one’s beliefs impact others.—

FIRST, here’s a word- FANTA-CIDE, as in the DEATH OF FANTASIES. Here’s how it came up. A friend was telling me how this very attractive woman seemed, to him, to be attracted to him, and, maybe, you know, like, maybe… “Really? Like, then, what are you going to do about it?” Oh, and you don’t have fantasies? “Sure. People do. You can’t write fiction without… imagining. But there’s imagining and there’s… real life. My imagining I rip up the surf doesn’t mean I do. And…”

Fantacide. Way too close to “Infanticide” and the serious horror that word covers. Fantacide. I may never use it again.

BUT, if we’re discussing what we imagine and what is real, my thoughts on EASTER, the celebration of a Savior, risen from the, I cannot avoid considering how perceptions of Christ’s teachings are so widely diverse, from pacifists to war-mongers, from those who profess to love their enemies, to those who are willing to strike out with whatever weapons they can get against those who frighten, let alone threaten them; that there must be a Jesus who is somewhere in between.

The fact that there are so many denominations that claim to have the TRUE RELIGION is proof that, perhaps, none have the whole truth.

I don’t know Jesus. You don’t know Jesus.

That’s it.

Of course that’s not IT. Jesus did say, according to Scripture, that GOD, the father, is SPIRIT. It seems appropriate to, perhaps, consider the spirit of Jesus. Vengeful, hateful, spiteful; ready to vanquish your enemies? Ready to reward you on earth with all you are bold enough to pray for? If that’s the Jesus you imagine, and you have managed to twist scripture to support your position… fine; I’m not supposed to judge.

AND YET, I do. I am a sinner, and I continue to be one. I’m sure you will forgive me. It’s required. AND, since I’m confessing, I might add I get quesey as hell when I see anyone who equates Christianity with Nationalism, who profits, some ridiculously, from the sincere desires of sincere believers, who dresses in the costume of goodness and righteousness but preaches division and, yes, hatred, well; show me the lines in scripture (in some Bibles, quotes from Jesus are annotated in red) that backs up that shit.

AGAIN, it’s Easter, and it’s a beautiful day here. STILL, it might not ruin your day completely to imagine the people in our one and only world who are suffering the effects of war and famine, the people displaced by violence, those who are seeking some better, more peaceful life. You don’t have to imagine. It’s on the television. If you don’t want to see, or you want to see victims portrayed as invaders or terrorists, change the channel.

While I sympathize, I am honest enough to say I do little or nothing to help. If I see someone with a cardboard sign at the exit to the market, I seek another exit. I am, and I fully confess this; a HYPOCRITE.

CHECK OUT your new Citizen trump-endorsed Bible; Jesus starts so many many sentences with, “You hypocrites.” It didn’t make him all that popular at the time.

Feel free to disagree. Meanwhile, may some of your fantasies become real. AND, if you’re seeking waves, may you find them… and ride a few.

I’m here to surf. And you?

Posted on by under Uncategorized

WAIT! Is it still Wednesday? Sorry; I meant to post earlier, but I had to go somewhere and… No excuses, but I did start writing some stuff and, and it just wasn’t good enough.

I will have something, for sure, on SUNDAY.

Meanwhile, if you get a chance to hit some surf, hit it like you mean it.

Privileged, Entitled, Narcissistic, Irrefutably Sociopathic… and Here to Surf

Posted on by under mind surfing, real surfers, surf culture, surf satire, surfing blogs

Or… Namedropping and Trolling, and sniping.

I YouTubed the latest BEACH GRIT Saturday morning. Not the hour plus version, a more user friendly ten minutes (or so) edit (I’m assuming), the first three minutes (or so) an advertisement for a solar watch I just have to purchase. The topic was… I don’t remember. Oh, yeah, it was a response to letters to the editor (sorry, emails from the blog-ets); in this case, what a surf dude should wear to get married in, from arbiters of all things surfing, David Lee Scales and Chas Smith (and I apologize for calling David Lee Seales last time). Good stuff. Not what I was intending to write about.

I got this image from “Mariska and Fernando something something.” Congratuations!

’ll get to that. FIRST, I must say I was kind of jazzed that, according to my tablet, the post had been, you know, posted, like, forty-two minutes earlier AND had, at that time, no comments. Not that I ever comment. I think it requires signing in somewhere, and emojis, and misspellings, and pretty horrific grammatic usage. BUT, I must add, I am a fan of surf-centric content, though I’ve seen enough that I fast-forward frequently; especially when (even) one of my cosmic, cloud-breaking, globe-floating surf heroes (even Nate or Jamie or any of the Koas) start hyping product and/or starts being too whiny or obsequiously and, possibly, phony-ly nice. AND I have yet to subscribe to any channel or blog. BUT, if you subscribe to worldwide (honestly, they keep track and I check… daily) non-phenomenon… realsurfers, I’m not going to beg, but so many, many thanks, many congrats on your, um, discernment (insert virtual kiss emoji here).

I DO HOPE following Dave and Chas and then commenting on their commentary doesn’t make me a troll, BUT TODAY’S TROLLING is because their recent identifying/outing TYLER WRIGHT as an entitled, privileged, ‘I’m a victim,’ narcissist got me thinking. Yes, I was kind of taken aback, while watching hours of a WSL contest from somewhere, that she mentioned, you know, menstruation and its effects on heat strategy, but I didn’t get more involved than that. BUT I don’t have the insider access D and C have.

WAIT, aren’t most sports stars a little bit… that? Aren’t most, even non-world-class surfers somewhere on the self-centered spectrum? Since I’ve long been of the opinion that most who surf with a skill level over day three surf camp (day two, private lesson) are, placed in the competitive petri dish arena at any decent surf spot, SOCIOPATHS, adding a bit of the victimhood aspect doesn’t faze me at all. OR HURT ME.

ANY OF us who have taken and/or can take the time to develop skills in a difficult sport, often performing (or trying to snag a wave if not a set bomb) in crowded conditions, might be considered Privileged, Entitled, Narcissistic, Irrefutably Sociopathic Headcases (PENIS HEADS, for short). Enjoying the activity… Separate issue. Separate posting. Later.

“Me, Me!” Mine, Mine!” “Going Right!” “Going Left!” “Going Straight!” “MeMeMine!”

TAKE THIS TEST: If you’re surfing like shit, is it someone else’s fault? Of course. Or the wrong board, or the wrong wax, or some backpaddling assholes and/or drop-in bitches (bitches in the non-gender way)? For the non-surfers, think about navigating heavy traffic (your choice of vehicle), OR the lineup at the multi-pump COSTCO. If you picked the gas tank on the right side line because you know the hose will make it AND the line is shorter, BUT some asshole decides to take his or her (formerly correct way to say ‘their’ as identifying something singular) sweet ass time topping off their Hummer or checking their mileage… whatever, YES, it is their fault that you’re late to the barbeque, their fault the guacamole went brown in your artisan sidedish.

NOT TO MAKE THIS overlong, a greater privilege for the truly entitled is to be able to write and post sarcastic, sniping commentary on, you know, like, whatever.

HOWEVER, I must add that I harbor no ill will toward Tyler, John Peck, or pretty much anyone else. WAIT. Thinking. There are, not that I’m bent too far over in a direction a reader might recognize, a few politicians I wouldn’t want to hang out with, clowns who make me a bit gRUMPy.

BY WAY of confession; when I do get up to the gas pumps, I do take my sweet-ass time.  Let’s see; 281.5 miles divided by 12.5 gallons equals 22.5 mpg. YEA! Thanks, Volvo.

AND, as with every time I see a post from Nathan or the quickie (only) from Keith Olbermann, or the first (surfing) half of a video from Mason Ho, when I next see something with David Lee and Chas; NO NEED TO ADD BAIT- Oh yes… CLICK.

NEXT TIME (maybe), Why we all want to be realer than other surfers.

Meanwhile, if you can’t be nice, be real.

Name Dropping: Chas Smith, Jimbo, Tyler Wright… PART ONE

Posted on by under hipster surfers, northwest surfing, real surfers

Pushed into it by my friend, Olympic Peninsula ripper/librarian KEITH DARROCK, I’ve become, reluctantly, a sort of (UNSUBSCRIBED) fan of CHAS SMITH. He first came into my narrow world as a writer/columnist at what was “Surfing” until it transformed into “Trans-World Surf” or whatever, his photo with a cigarette (so rebellious) and one of those haircuts I’ve always associated with hipness, one that one must constantly push out of one’s eyes (the first such do I noted was on Twyla Tharp when I was in Junior College, well before I lost my own forelock in my twenties). ANYWAY, if DREW KAMPION pushed the boundaries, as in, if he was critical of some things in surf culture, contest situations, corporate holding companies, and, ‘oh, my god,’ individual surf stars, CHAS is taking it to new frontiers.

Not that there isn’t a lot to criticize/snipe at in the WSL, the branding of surfing while dropping support of actual surfers, etc. etc. etc. And, along with DAVID LEE SEALES, Chas, on BEACH GRIT, SURF SPLENDOR (I’m not sure how many sites, but my YOUTUBE does seem to sort them out), get to name and shame and drop surfers such as: JIMBO, TYLER WRIGHT, FELIPE TOLEDO, KELLY SLATER, and, of course, JOHN PECK.

Not that I don’t want to. And not that I’m in any way saying the criticism isn’t justified, and I do claim that many surfers have kind of sociopathic… tendencies, including me; David Lee Seales and Chas Smith might go a little mean on… I’m particularly thinking of their stories on JIMBO; funny he lost his board, not so much he lost his arm, and the ‘shit stain’ thing. I did kind of feel sorry for the guy whose main sin seems to be that he’s fat and loud and obnoxious. LIKE THERE’S SOMETHING REALLY SINFUL about that?

Maybe what continues to intrigue me is… A lot. I’ll get to it in PART TWO.

BUTtttT… what the overlong pod/blogcasts seem to really be is folks talking the way real surfers do, going on about who is, in reality, a REAL SURFER. One thing I gleaned from my most recent listening is that, if you can’t surf for some reason for a while, if you miss the actual surfing more than the more social aspects of the activity, you are, perhaps, possibly, more likely to be considered, you know, like, real.

NExt time… probably apologies. HIT SOME SURF when you can. Be real when possible.

Modest Cover and Changing Justifications

Posted on by under "Swamis" the novel, women surfers in the Northwest,

HERE, edited, is the piece I meant to post last Wednesday:

THE DIFFERENCE between what I write for realsurfers and pretty much anything else I write is that much of what is posted is written on site, under the real or imagined pressure (mostly imagined) of having to be somewhere else other than wailing away on my borrowed laptop.

EDITING is the difference. Re-reading, rewriting; trying to push randomness into cohesion, trying to produce something, hopefully, readable, worthwhile.

In direct contradiction of this statement, I’m suddenly thinking of how chaotic winds can, on occasion, turn into lined-up waves.

Yeah, that sounds kind of braggy; maybe I’ll edit it out.

AFTER THE FACT, I would like to add something(s) to a recent post in which I neglected to say how, when I was a teenager, and the only surfers who entered discussions with my friends who surfed were those in our age bracket. Surfers, we concluded, at sixteen or seventeen, peak at nineteen. It was fine to take girls to the beach if you were planning on, maybe, making out, rather than actually surfing. Having a girlfriend who actually surfed, rather one who was willing to watch her boyfriend surf was not discussed.

The thrill of watching me surf wore off fairly early for Trish. Still, we had some sessions.

WHAT I NOW WANT TO EMPHASISE is that opinions and attitudes change. AND NEED TO.

NOW I see couples, some with children, taking turns in the water. GREAT!

MY MOTHER was left out of the original post. She loved going to the beach, and would load up her seven children, sometimes a friend, and all our gear, and head out. When my older sister, SUELLEN, and I started riding boards, learning more about where better waves were, and when (not noon), our mother was more than willing to go earlier and to check out spots beyond TAMARACK. Grandview? Black’s Beach? We looked.

A bit of a shoutout to our dad, I distinctly remember both my parents taking me to 15th Street, Del Mar, as kind of a part of a rare date away from the whole of their family, sitting in the parking lot as I ‘practiced’ for a high school surfing contest.  

Here, not for the sake of argument, are a couple of possibly sexist drawings I didn’t include last time:

I SAID I was honoring International Women’s Day and then displayed a retrospective of my drawings and silkscreens that, by today’s standards and my own changed ideas on how women should be portrayed, may make me seem a bit more sexist/cave person-like than I would like to believe I am. Is it still okay to portray nude women under some modest cover that argues it is not objectification? I DON’T KNOW. If I figure it out I will let you know. I do know that justifying working on nudes in my thirties (I also did landscapes and illustrations of surfing and houses) was different, if not easier, than it would be in my seventies.  

THAT SAID, I should address my own behavior in the water. AS IN, do I surf in a sexist manner?  I do consider myself an equal opportunity wave hog. As in, if I see an opportunity to go for a wave… I do. The relative competence of others in the water is a factor. HAVING SAID THAT, I now wish to claim that I’m not as bad as I once was. EVOLVING? Just getting older? Debatable. ADDITIONALLY… No, that’s enough.

EXCEPT, that, there’s all the hype and social bullshit around surfing, all the what it can be (magic) and what it is (difficult, impossible to conquer or to perfect). If you take every experience you have had in surfing, from your first times wading into the water, to now; what is it you cherish the most, what is it you remember first and most fondly?

YEAH, I thought so. 

Original silkscreen, from 1980s, found in the attic.

AS ALWAYS, THANKS for checking out realsurfers. Updates on my novel, “SWAMIS,” and other stuff on Wednesday. All rights to all original, copyrighted work are reserved by Erwin A. Dence, Jr.

Additions and Corrections and, Yeah, More

Posted on by under "Swamis" the novel, real surfers, surf fiction, surf novels, surfing art, surfing Southern California in the 60s, surfing Swamis

“SWAMIS” UPDATE- Working on it. Here is a quickie flyer for a fictional Newspaper. I can’t say that there wasn’t such a weekly paper back in the time my novel covers, 1969. My guess, yes. I do know, based on a story I heard, later, like 1971, when I went to work in the Big City, San Diego, from an older guy, that there were Free Clinics, or, at least, one. “So, I picked up this hitchhiking Hippie chick, and I’m thinking… you know, free sex and all that, and she says she’s trying to get to the free clinic.”

Also not related, directly: I noticed, on occasional trips south, in the narrow strip that is Mission Beach, a storefront law office that, real or imagined, seemed to offer free services. Hard to imagine that now. Parking, incidentally, was pretty much as bad then as it is now.

If writing, journalism or fiction, or drawing, or any form of art is someone trying to transfer imagination to paper or wood or film or any other medium, images stored and remembered are the critical ingredient.

Although I haven’t quite gotten to THE END of the fourth or fifth rewrite of “Swamis,” I do have plans, beyond it, for the main characters. The storefront law office might be part of that.

MEANWHILE, I am still recovering from cuts and an infection on my leg, the treatment keeping me out of the water for at least the rest of this week. SO, IF THERE ARE WAVES, I won’t be competing for them. GOOD LUCK.

SCREW UP of the day- I did write something, using Microsoft Word, filling in some omissions from my last posting. Halfway through this, I realized I hadn’t copied it. Not wanting to lose what I had, I… well, I’ll get back to you on what is partially “Guilty with an explanation” stuff.

In the “I’M NOT POLITICAL, BUT…” category, something about the delays in the trials of the former president, and the inability of some other citizens to see a grift when it’s reaching into their pockets, caused me to draw… this:

It’s already, liike, last week’s news. Ordinarily I claim all rights to my work, but, this time, in the spirit of freedom, free press, all that, if you want to borrow it… FEEL FREE.

International Women’s (Surfing) Day and…

Posted on by under "Swamis" the novel, Erwin Dence illustrations, Melissa Lynch illustrations, old surfers, real surfers, surf illustrations, surfing art

…and when, perhaps, men are going to catch up or on. If ever.

When I started board surfing in 1965, almost fourteen-years-old, there were girls and women who surfed. Not that many, and those who were good at it were known by name. In San Diego’s North County, Barbie Barron from Oceanside, and Margo Godfrey were the main contenders.

It would be totally wrong if I didn’t mention that my older sister, Suellen, got me into board surfing. If Suellen had romantic notions about what surfing is, and she did, and we all do, the truth is that sometimes surfing lives up to those notions.

Trish went to Junior High with Barbie and was a member of an upstart Oceanside Girls Surfing Club before Trisha’s father got transferred to Philadelphia. I would run into Barbie frequently when I got out of High School, 1969, and did a lot of pre-work, dawn patrol surfing at the short jetty south of Oceanside harbor. Trish, who came back west in 1968 with a lot of east coast sophistication and a touch of the vibe (so alluring to a rube from Fallbrook), would ask if I actually spoke to her. No. Barbie did own the Offshore Surf Shop in Carlsbad for years. I reached out shortly after she retired. So, still no.

My only live almost interaction with Margo Godfrey was a big-but-blown out afternoon at Swamis, Scott Sutton, Jeff Officer, and I stuck with that situation because we had to wait for Scott’s father to do whatever he had to do that was more important than taking kids surfing. Margo and Cheer Critchlow were walking out, so casually, hitting the outside lineup, while we were going for the insiders.

I did write about my one interaction with the most famous woman surfer of that generation, Joyce Hoffman, from Christmas of 1970, the piece entitled “Joyce Hoffman’s Bra.” It is Google-able. I checked.

Oh, and I threw in a shot of Silvana Lima to represent women surfers who rip but don’t, perhaps, fit into the ‘image’ that sponsors are looking for. The image issue is, to a lesser extent, perhaps, also true on the men’s competitive side.

This is probably the right time to apologize for my attitude toward women. I love women, and my realization that boys and men treat women, um, rudely, and artists, trying to capture something of the beauty and wonder of women are insensitive if not clueless. So, yeah, one of those “I didn’t know, I don’t know, I’m working on it” kind of man-pologies.

Here’s how this post happened: I wanted to write about women who surf. Not finding anything I was stoked on in a quick web image search, I decided to check out my own media library. These are images that have appeared on this site. Some of the silk screen images are from the 1980s when I thought it was completely a good thing to do nudes. You know, like, tasteful.

Because of the way I put this post together, the writing is as disjointed as the images. Still:

Margo Godfrey, Santa Cruz, Oct 1969
from pinterest
taken from Matt Warshaw’s Encyclopedia of Surfing

The second from the bottom drawing was done by my youngest sister, Melissa. She died of metastatic breast cancer a few years ago. She did surf. She was so committed to producing high quality, high emotion images. I endeavor to live up to her standards, knowing I have a long way to go.

The last image is of my favorite surfer girl, Trish.

All original art works are protected by copyright, all rights reserved. Thanks for respecting that. AND… I have more to say about macho-ness and all that. Quick shout out to WARM CURRENTS. Check them out.

Dreams and Other Stop Gap Measures…

Posted on by under mind surfing, northwest surfing, real surfers, surf-related short storties, surfing, surfing tales, surfing the strait of juan de fuca

…for dealing with a lack of surf and/or a lack of opportunities to surf. Subtle difference, same result: Surf Withdrawal Syndrome (SWS).

I HAD THIS DREAM last night, so this image coming from “DREAMTIME” copyright theirs, is quite appropriate, though, in my dream, rather than the Great Smokey Mountains (where, incidentally, my mother was raised), and in my dream, that evidently, in a dream-typical way, seemed to sort of tell a story in which I was supposed to go surfing with this guy, possibly based on Olympic Peninsula surf pathfinder Darrell Wood, BUT… THERE WERE COMPLICATIONS; we had to check out some house where the dude there (couldn’t pick him out in a lineup) wanted to add on to his house AND was having trouble with a son who was getting in trouble. The Darrell character had advice on both, but I was aware that I had to call TRISH and give her an update, and that it was getting late, surf trip-wise. SO I ASKED the homeowner if he had a phone. HE DID, but he was on it. LANDLINE. I chased him through a really big house, at one point asking him if there was a bathroom, all while he’s unfurling phone cord behind him. “Do you really need to add on, man?” SUDDENLY, I’m outside, and I’m getting into a vehicle with ADAM “WIPEOUT” JAMES, and I’m asking him if it’s too late to surf. “If you ride with someone else…” he said as we drove toward a setting sun over low mountains, the Pacific Ocean somewhere over them.

“If you ride with someone else… WHAT?”

INCIDENTALLY, 45 years ago, when I first ran into Darrell Wood, he said he’d invite me to go to spots he knew of, but, if he called, I had to be out the door within 15 minutes (or so), his house being 45 Hwy 101 minutes away from mine. So, I got to ride with him… once. I was late, but when we got to waves I thought were spectacular, Darrell turned them down, saying it gets way better. “When?” “Sometimes.”

My guess, my analysis of my dream, based on various couldhavebeen surf attempts in which time ran out is… I don’t know; FRUSTRATION? I’m currently dealing with an injury, knowing I have missed some opportunities, and, looking at the forecast for the STRAIT, ALWAYS IFFY, is not encouraging.

ALSO, I have had SUPER, MAGICAL SESSIONS riding with Trish, with our kids, with friends (including ADAM WIPEOUT) to find surf. It’s not always the SURFING, sometimes it’s the trip.

ENJOY THE TRIP. It is part of the story. AND there’s always a story.

Getting Back to You

Posted on by under "Swamis" the novel, Erwin Dence surf illustrations, northwest surfing, old surfers, Original Erwin t-shirts, real surfers, Uncategorized

My most recent post featured some of my latest drawings, contenders for a spot as an ORIGINAL ERWIN t-shirt. UNFORTUNATELY, one of them got lost in the scuffle. But, good news, I got the images rescanned and now….

There are the images, here’s the story (Optional), bottom to top:

Here’s a mockup of a shirt design I did for the Port Townsend PUBLIC Library (officially for the ‘Friends of the…’) SUMMER READING Project. It would be clearer on the actual shirt, and the colors… different.

Here’s me attempting to look fierce in a French Beret someone left on a fencepost after some Port Townsend hipster, evidently, lost it in a fit of utter euphoria. I’m holding Stephen R. Davis’s hammer, total prop. There is a story here involving some injuries I incurred taking a (stupid) fall off a ladder and onto two open paint cans. Crushed them, cut the back of both of my legs. Ten days later I got to go to Urgent Care for an (even stupider) infection (swelling, red lines down my leg, that kind of stuff) I have photos, best not shared. Antibiotics and Advil, I’m on the mend.

THIS leads us to the top two images. SO, NINE days after my fall, STEPHEN R. DAVIS and I are out on the Strait, and getting skunked. OF COURSE. But, I had my thumb drive with me, and on it was the top image that, for some technical reason, I was not able to transfer to my computer. AND there was a print shop on the way out of Port Angeles.

SO I cruise in there and get a reversal (2nd image) of the drawing. SINCE we’re skunked and it’s still early, we cruise up Lincoln to the NXNW surf shop. I’ve talked to the new owner (Frank Crippen’s successor) about selling some of my stuff and he’s been agreeable. There are a couple of other surfers in the shop, obviously skunked. I set the copy on the counter and one of the guys is just staring at it, running fingers down the various lines, muttering “Oh” and “Whoa” long enough that I had to say, “Hey, man, it’s just lines and dots.” “Whoa!”

I’m still leaning on this one for the next shirt. I’ll definitely keep you posted. MEANWHILE, surf ’em if (and when you find ’em. More stuff on Wednesday.

Oh, yeah, and all ORIGINAL ERWIN images are copyrighted, all rights reserved by Erwin A. Dence, Jr.