Category Archives: northwest surfing blog,

“Even the President of the United States Sometimes Must Have to Stand Naked.” Dylan. “If I was the King of the Forest.” Cowardly Lion in “The Wizard of Oz.” “And could we, in this Constitution, perchance, add the phrase, ‘Fuck a bunch of fucking Kings?'” Benny Franklin.

Posted on by under "Swamis" the novel, northwest surfing blog,, old surfers, real surfers, surf culture, surfing blogs, writings of Erwin Dence

It’s NO KINGS Day! Got any plans?

“YEAH; NO KINGS !”A photo from Desert Point. DISCLAIMER- Not sure of the circumstance. Maybe it was payback, maybe this guy enjoys a party wave more than the GOAT. Now, I am not in any way pushing for drop-ins of the punitive nature, particularly by newby shoulder hoppers, but… sometimes… I don’t know, maybe Kelly wasn’t adhering to a priority system lesser mortals are expected to adhere to. I get that. OH, and… the dude down the line is probably causing a chandelier situation, so… fun.

Too much to unpack here. A bigger board doesn’t make one Kinglier, evidently. Is the one guy trying to party down? Is the scrapper about to get run down? Is this wave kind of… weak? Is the Dude in the Waikiki pose, obviously trying to remember step number three (Don’t pearl)? Is he wearing a spring suit, with hood, And a knee brace? Is the Dude in the ‘I’m driving down the line’ pose actively reconsidering his latest switch from crypto to betting on how many American service people will be dead or wounded in the latest War/escapade/evasion? Which way is the guy immediately outside the wave looking? Is the guy who is watching thankful he didn’t go on this wave? Is there surf in Cuba? Is stupid catchy? Are there any people in Congress with any integrity (I have my list of more or totally courageous folks, it’s America, you are still free to chose yours)?

GEORGE WASHINGTON, ‘PRESIDING’ at the Constitutional Convention, May of 1787, sending out some gang signs to the other old, bewigged, most-likely slave-owning white men. Loosely translated, it was, “If we play our cards right, this experiment might last, I postulate and do herein claim, two-hundred-and-fifty years; perhaps more. And if some charlatan/montebank/swindler/huckster even attempts to become a, dare I say, King; the PEOPLE will not stand for this brazen effrontery. Congress and the Courts will live up to their sworn vows, perform their sacred duties. The People, I tell you, will, shall, must PREVAIL! And now… now; I hear there’s a buffet. Line forms to the left. Let’s GO!

Some (not all) credits- History.com, El Pais in English, Pittsburg Gazette- from today

I keep putting off what I keep telling myself I will write about: How snow activities are so much better than surfing. Now, with the last ski bus heading to the Cascades for the last of the snow, it’s almost too late. Still, it’s coming. Soon.

CONTACT erwin@realsurfers.net

I have promised myself I will put in some time on finishing my novel, “Swamis.” I keep coming up with new ideas for the story’s climax.

HOW MY BRAIN WORKS (OR DOESN’T)- Earlier today, scrolling on the YouTube, I saw something explaining people who can’t remember other people’s name (but, saving grace, remember stories involving that person, or, in my case, nicknames). Okay. So I’m writing the paragraph immediately above this one, and I can’t think of word for the ending of a novel. CONCLUSION? Maybe, but there’s no way “Swamis” is going to end with anything less than a cliffhanger. Next novel? “Grandview.” I look conclusion up. Not exactly right. I’m thinking, “What’s a word that is a synonym for orgasm?” I look up ORGASM. Climax is a choice. I look up CLIMAX. One choice of definitions in Merriam-Webster mentioned a series of phrases or sentences in ascending order of rhetorical forcefullness. “Oh, so it’s like the third wave of a four wave set.” Yeah. That. That’s where I want the ending of my novel to be.

We’ll see. I posted another Original Erwin song, with harmonica, on the Instagram. Check out REALSURFERSDOTNET to see and hear my third or fouth attempt to do a one take version of “Before the Wind Comes Up.” I am going to try to do a decent version of “Another Lie, Another War.” I will let you know. Surf if you can, Snow it up while you can. FUCK CANCER! FUCK A BUNCH OF. FASCISTS! Thanks for checking out realsurfers.net

Second Hand Stoke

Posted on by under "Swamis" the novel, Erwin Dence surf illustrations, northwest surfing blog,, real surfers, surf art, surf novels, surfing art, surfing blogs, Uncategorized, writings of Erwin Dence

A couple of photos from CHIMACUM TIMACUM of his view during his recent trip to TORTOLA. Not to blow up the spot, but Tim claims waist to chest high most days. SO, perfect Erwin size surf. 80 degree water and air. And… yeah, yeah, yeah…It is kind of like bragging.

Not that I mind. But, as much as I enjoy hearing about someone else’s exploits, am I surfing vicariously and soaking in the mellow vibes? No.

There’s reporting, there’s bragging, and there is gloating. Not that I don’t feel some sort of desire to gloat my ass off on those occasions when I am the one scoring.

My SURF FRIENDS seem to love letting me know about scores they have, um, scored; magical sessions, narrow windows of surf perfection they were not mere witnesses to, but active participants in. I am, apparently, expected to be that guy on the beach, jumping up and down, that guy on the shoulder, both arms up. in celebration. “YEA!”

Then I get a call or a text or run into another surf friend. “Yes, I heard about it.”

YEAH and YEA and “I am so happy for you… or him… or her… or anyone who scores. I AM STOKED.” Second hand stoke.

BUT, really, I’d rather be the frothed than the frothee, the stoked rather than the stokee. YEAH.

AND, MY GUESS, so would you.

FROM THE EMAILBOX: erwin@realsurfers.net

I got the first image from legendary waterman TIM NOLAN. Tim uses a technique in which he bleaches out the colors from a photo, then uses water colors to bring a new vision of the image.

The middle image is the photo taken by RICO MOORE of KEITH DARROCK. If it wasn’t a great shot, neither Tim nor I would have been drawn to it. The bottom image is my take on the scene; Keith coming in, a fire, a coffee cup. Yes, I do love Tim’s color selection. Yes, I could have blended the colored pencil colors a little more smoothly.

I have been doing some recording of original Erwin songs for my Instagram account. I have decided, since I should not sing but do, and because I have songs worth sharing (my opinion), I am just going to sing and play harmonica.

UPDATE/UPDATE/UPDATE- March 26- If I stop and watch and listen to any of my one take, usually while driving videos, I will probably not post it. The harmonica sounds shrill, my voice sounds… pick any word to describe the sentiment, “That guy should never sing.” STILL, I have songs people should hear. SO, I will continue to try to improve. YEAH, I did kind of believe people might forgive my voice because of my age. Maybe, but I haven’t. Not yet.

Here are the lyrics to my most recent tune:

Before the wind comes up, Before the clouds blow in, Before the sun goes dark, Before the rain begins, Before the lights go out along the avenue, I’m gonna load up my tools and head on home to you. Home to you, home to you, gonna pack up my van and hurry home to you.

REMEMBER Saturday is NO KINGS DAY.

Shit’s at stake. Participate!

Thanks, as always, for checking out realsurfers.net

Waiting Room Sketches

Posted on by under "Swamis" the novel, Erwin Dence illustrations, northwest surfing blog,, old surfers, real surfers, surfing in Washington State, writings of Erwin Dence

TRISH is undergoing radiation as part of the treatment for breast cancer. It is not fun. 21 trips to SAINT MICHAEL in Silverdale. Four have been completed. We are so very fortunate for the help of our daughter, DRU. She is, well, essential to this process. Since I am not needed or wanted in the rooms where Trish is being tortured, I have some time to… yeah, draw.

Not as much as I might want if I’m really into something, but enough to do some sketches. SKETCHES. I once took some (too much) offense when a surfer introduced me to his girlfriend as, “You know, he does t-shirts, and has that blog. I showed you.” “OH,” she said, “I really like some of your sketches.”

SO, yeah; thanks; these are sketches;

Port Townsend surfer/librarian Keith Darrock and I have not gotten it totally together in organizing the next OCCASIONAL SURF CULTURE ON THE STRAIT OF JUAN DE FUCA EVENT. However, it will be centered on the connection between surf and music, with, of course, surf artists and storytellers, as well as PETE RAAB, expert in all the background, history, and wonder of surf music. The event will be part of the summer library lineup, and… and we better get to work jockeying for position. This sketch probably won’t be part of the poster. SKETCH. We’ll see.

THIS SKETCH probably should be on PAGE II, NON-POLITICAL ERWIN. But here it is. Having been raised to be anti-war, and having studied enough of pasts wars, there seems to be a pattern in that some are sold with near-truths and some with outright lies. There are aggressors and defenders. There have been some shenanigans, such as one side claiming to be in the midst of negotiations and then… attacking. Infamy. And, of course, no war is complete without WAR CRIMES.

SHIT, now I’m going. If we don’t focus on the body count per acre of a war for land, or try to divine the math behind the cost in money and, yes, lives, of a blood for oil campaign; if we discount the suffering of the dispossessed and the seekers of refuge; turn away from scant news of scorched earth tactics; pretend ignorance of or an inability to imagine humans being capable of reported and, yes unimaginably inhuman, brutality; perhaps we know someone who served, survived, and is living with the consequences of ventures into man’s most telling feature; war.

I claim no one else’s valor. I got lucky, had a high draft number, missed out on my generation’s conflict. In a twist of fate, I was hired on to work for the U.S. Navy as a journeyman painter in 1971. Twenty years-old. Almost all the oldtimers were veterans of World War II. They had stories they weren’t keen on sharing with a punk ass, non-vet surfer, but, maybe on a payday afternoon, stories would be shared. I would listen. If painters are characterized as drunks, add a veteran who was under twenty years old at D Day, or Guadalcanal (my father and my father-in-law both served in the Marines, WWII and Korea), or an Irishman (“Don’t call me British”) who served with the British in North Africa, or a soldier who was there for the liberation of Nazi (still a dirty word to me) death camps; yes, I heard stories. I saw men damaged by what they saw and what they did.

Then there were the incoming Apprentice Painters. Vietnam vets. Some, no doubt gung ho at one time, were disenchanted. I would say most. Some were, whether they admitted it or not, broken. Spirit gone. For several in my time with the Navy including working on ships at Puget Sound Naval Shipyard, their mental brokenness, while they were otherwise healthy, seems to have led to their deaths.

And now, forgive me, I’m thinking about two other stories. One guy thought he was fooling the government because they believed he had PTSD. He totally did. Though he seemed to trust me, I knew enough to not even come close to walking behind him. The second guy had been an officer, planned on getting enough knowledge of painting to go out on his own as a contractor. One day at lunch he announced to the crew that he had no trouble killing. “I could blow any of you away and go on eating.” “Well,” I said, “Would you mind eating somewhere else?”

My father, when presented with stories in the news (or movies that didn’t agree with his stance that he and those he served with served America, justly), told me that a lot of bad stuff happens. “You just have to live with it.”

I’m working on a song on this theme. Originally I was thinking of something to fit with the tune to “Makin’ Whoopee,” more recently (and not like recently recently- 1961) known as a theme for Pepsi commercials. “Now it’s Pepsi, for those who think young.” I DID, of course, get carried away. Doesn’t fit the tune.

Another lie, another war, One can’t help but wonder what we’re killing people for;

Another war, another lie, an eye for an eye for an eye for an eye; One has to wonder, has to wonder, has to wonder… why.

AS FAR AS NON-POLITICAL ERWIN, I’m thinking of this: REAL MEN DON’T HEGSETH!

I DO claim all rights to original sketches, and writing on realsurfers.net.

Contact me at erwin@realsurfers.net

The time I spent on this could have gone to my novel, “Swamis.” I did put in an hour or so, and I am on page 210 of 227. BIG FINISH! To be continued. Thanks for checking out realsurfers. If you like snow, better get on it! As far as surf… hmmm

Heavy TRAFFIC and the Full Hand Flipoff

Posted on by under "Swamis" the novel, aggressive surfers, learning to surf, northwest surfing blog,, real surfers, surf culture, surf fiction, surf novels, surf satire, surfing, surfing the strait of juan de fuca, Uncategorized, writings of Erwin Dence

                                    Crowd Surfing and City Driving: A Comparison

IT isn’t some brilliant or sudden or unique thought that driving in traffic is very much like surfing in a crowded lineup. Still, I have some thoughts.

Photo from San Diego Surf School.

FUCKERS cut you off; DICKWADS on oversized boards drop in way outside of you; over stimulated shortboard PUNKS backpaddle and drop in, at the last moment, with you obviously desiring a certain wave; oblivious ADULT LEARNERS blindly paddle for the shoulder on a wave you might, just possibly, thrash; BACKOFF BOBS and BETTYS add a chandelier to a section you would have made; a PACK OF possibly local, definitely friends act as a TEAM/GANG to dominate a peak, blocking your attempts to crack the lineup… EVEN WHEN you are SO, SO patient, respectful, almost ready to forget your hard earned sense of dignity and beg for just  ONE chance,  ONE non-set, not-a-bomb wave. Looking around the playing field at the greedy movers and shakers, the ‘just-happy-to-be-out-here’ enthusiasts; checking out and the seemingly omnipresent surf-adjacent crew of onlookers, color commentators, judges, cheerleaders, coaches, filmers; are they pleased that you’re frustrated? Fuck, yeah, and fuck you; maybe next time you’ll bring your own crew. OR…

from MUMMY TALES, a wordpress site/blog.

THE GREAT EQUALIZER- Not talking Colt 45 here, or any violent road rage insanity, and it’s not an avocado-to-mango comparison, but ANY MOTORIZED VEHICLE (even hybrid or electric) is capable of doing the same maneuvers as your ride of choice, attain the same speeds as your work rig or your Camry; and, additionally, a motorcycle (or Vespa or overpowered electric bike) can weave through lane changes and backups way better than a jacked-up, offroad diesel burning MAN truck, the modern incarnation of a Corvette, regardless of how many lights and wenches and flags and scary decals the man-mobile is sporting. ANYONE’S GRANDMA in a coupe, even without a spoiler and noisy muffler, any WHIMP, regardless of party or sexual affiliation, can cut you off in the collector/distributer lane, whip into the parking spot at Costco that, though not close to the entrance, is (was) close to a cart return. OH, IF ONLY you had a handicapped sticker.

SIGNALS- Yes, it is still rude to be yelling, “MY WAVE, MINE, MINE, MINE!!!” However, it is sometimes helpful to signal your intensions. Subtly. Softly. “Excuse me, but I am going on the second wave of the incoming set. Feel free to discuss the first wave among yourselves. And… Did you not hear me? My wave… mine, mine, MINE!!!!!”


5/10/2011 – Jay Janner/AMERICAN-STATESMAN – Emily McLean is stuck in a traffic jam on Colorado Street after President Barack Obama gave a speech at ACL Live at the Moody Theater on Tuesday May 10, 2011. She got stuck waiting to turn onto Cesar Chavez Street. The street was closed for about half an hour for the president’s motorcade. NOTE- I liked the photo.

THE FULL HAND FLIPOFF- Here’s how this civilized screed (I’m not checking if it can be both a screed and civilized) came to be: I have this bad habit of not using my car’s turn signals. This is how my daughter Dru and I decided it was her driving Trisha’s Highlander when a traffic camera in Poulsbo caught it running a light. Signals. Still, I, as the registered owner, got the ticket. In the mail. I thought it was a scam. No. They want real money. SO,

I’m in a hurry, going from here to there in Port Townsend. Not that I’m ever not in a hurry (when I’m behind the wheel. MAYBE, slight interjection, when I’m on my way home from surfing. SO, I make a left onto a busy street over by the school with the pool and the food bank on Wednesdays. It may or may not have been a Wednesday, but, as I’m making a right hander onto San Juan, I notice a woman, evidently waiting to turn left from San Juan, in a dark car. She is raising her left hand up, fingers spread. The back her hand is up near or against the window. As I ease around the corner, I can’t help but focus on the woman and the gesture. Was she waving? Do I know her? No. She may or may not have smacking the back of her hand against the window, but her frustration was obvious. Or should have been.

WHILE I’M THINKING ABOUT all this; you know when there’s some reason, known or unknown, for a backup, and the right lane is moving faster, relying on the kindness of strangers to let them in at the last moment? Well, I have been known to position my vehicle in such a position that these late mergers can’t, cannot merge. Similarly, I have either yelled out, “GO… whoever” when another surfer is about to be dropped in on (again) AND/OR I have blocked a shoulder hopper. Not that this is any way noble. I have had surfers cut across my bow (sailor lingo) to keep me off a wave.  

Be patient, be safe. It’s only surfing, or traffic, or any situation in which a horde is keeping you from that which you desire. Now I’m thinking about checkout lines and Disneyland and imagining an empty lineup with wonderful waves and… no, I’m back to remembering the full hand flip off. Deserved. Sorry, Ma’am.  

I HAVE BEEN offering an incorrect email address. erwin@realsurfers.net will work. Don’t be afraid.

SURFWISE- There may or may not have been waves in this off most charts zone. As always. It is March, coming in, as the poets say, ‘like a lion.’ Wind, surprise snow, generally crappy weather. The snow is happening. While several of the local Olympic Peninsula surfers are elsewhere, including Chimacum Tim in some exotic spot close to Epstein’s Island. Surfer/snowboarders are hitting the slopes. I will have more on how snowboarding and skiing are better than surfing NEXT TIME.

MEANWHILE, try really hard to relax. Yes, it’s a lot of work staying calm, not freaking the fuck out. Try a mantra, repeated until your mind if free from panic-inflaming reality. This might not be proper, but you can use mine: NOTHING, NOThing, NOthing, nothing, nothing… nothing… …nothing… AH!

All work and no play make Jack a dull boy… All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy All work and no play make… You can’t handle the truth! No. Wait. All work and no play make… Chinatown… No, no, it’s… you see, it’s like this: I… No, no. All work and no play… no play… no… nothing, nothing, nothing. Not a damn thing. You got that? No? Okay. Nothing, nothing, nothingnothingnothing.

How’s Your Week Going? Words, photos, stories

Posted on by under "Swamis" the novel, adam wipeout, northwest surfing, northwest surfing blog,, old surfers, real surfers, surf fiction, surfing blogs, surfing the strait of juan de fuca, Uncategorized, writings of Erwin Dence

Here is another example of why I should be ready to take photos with my camera: I was in my last surviving vehicle at a parking lot that faces the Strait. There were no waves, but there was cell phone coverage. I may have been feeling particularly down, not to panic-depression levels; but, having lived a large chunk of my life on the edge (my choice to be a self-employed painter in the Northwest), and sharing with some unknown but large portion of the citizenry the pain of war and suddenly crazy gas prices, and, perhaps some lack of real confidence in our leaders…

Anyway, I see this old person (I’m guessing a man) being led by a younger, taller, person down the easiest incline from the parking lot to the narrow stretch of beach. My thought is he wanted to see the ocean, that perhaps he hadn’t seen it in a while, perhaps, even, he had some fear he might not have another opportunity. I don’t know; I make up stories.

He shuffles out. There’s a slight but cold west wind. There are rocks and driftwood and kelp to navigate. He did not last long. I imagined him saying to his companion, coming back up the berm, “Yeah; just like I remembered it.”

Close as I could get, image-wise. Borrowed from ruveyda

A screen tracks trading on the floor at the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) after the closing bell in New York City, U.S., April 4, 2025. REUTERS/Brendan McDermid

I should apologize for not putting this on NON-POLITICAL ERWIN. No. On a more personal note:

There is, of course a story. SO, top to bottom: After several issues with the VOLVO, alternately known as the “Super Fun Car,” I managed to get it to 200,000 miles (note the crustiness of the steering column and the harmonicas). NEXT, Dru’s house in Port Gamble is a stopping off point for Canadian Geese (note the shadows of the Volvo, with surfboard, and me). NEXT, Full moon, or fullish, last Monday night (note Dru’s new car, replacement for Honda attacked by mutant deer). NEXT, Dru’s cat, Nicholas, and the very rich cake Dru made for her lifetime friend, Mollie Orbea (who lives down the street).

BEFORE I get to the bottom shot, my work van being towed (for the many-ith time) from the parking area at Highway 104 and Center Road, I will enlighten you on the latest wound to the Volvo. YES, as in every movie that shows the moon, it was full. And it was Mollie’s birthday. And, because TRISH is recovering from Chemotherapy very very slowly, I was sent to represent. Also, I did not have my hearing aids with me. Awkward in any social situation, forcing kids and grownups to yell and/or repeat is… rude. At least. BUT, while leaving, I mentioned to Mollie’s husband, Pete, the person who pretty much runs the activities in Port Gamble, AND the person who conducts the ghost tours, that the Volvo reached this milestone. And then, looking for some wood to knock on, I selected a wheel from a ship that was mounted on the wall.

“You should know,” Pete said, “that wheel came from a Japanese vessel sunk in World War II. Now, the ghosts might follow you home.” Maybe they did. It’s about 20 miles, and when I turned into my driveway, the car stalled. And wouldn’t start. Blown head gasket. AVID readers of realsurfers.net might recall that Adam James helped me with using some Blue Devil when the Volvo overheated about twenty or thirty thousand miles ago. Now, according to my mechanical guru, George Takamoto, I will have to replace the headgasket. Not happening immediately, but I do plan on getting it done. AND I thought I was very lucky that the car stopped in my driveway.

Not the same luck two nights later when the gauges stopped working on van.

LIFE is, of course, a combination of good luck, bad luck, and shit we cannot control. I try very hard not to just freak the fuck out. I do have almost enough faith to believe, with the setbacks and traumas and dramas, the cruel, profane wars of choice, the inhumane treatment of those we share this fragile existence with, that there is a reckoning coming, that my complaints are not really significant.

I guess I’m lucky, because I never get the blues; Oh yes, I’m quite lucky, because I never get the blues; Now I might get suspicious, and sometimes I’m anxious, too; I might even get desperate and tear up a thing or two, but I count myself lucky because I Never get the blues.

Please don’t tell me your problems and think that I can relate; I don’t harbor jealousy and I won’t subsidize hate; If you want to complain, you can just go to Helen Waite; Don’t be telling me gossip and acting as if it’s news, ‘Cause I can’t share your problem and I want no part of your blues.

Dream of tomorrow, we sacrifice all our todays; We’re so busy working, we don’t take the time to just play; Though I’m selling my blood just to pay up my union dues; I still count myself lucky because I never get the blues.

My old truck’s still running, My dog didn’t die, Not in love with a woman who told me ‘goodbye,’ And my mama still talks of her baby with pride, And I can’t remember the last time I cried.

But then… I’m lucky, because I never get the blues; Oh yes, I’m quite lucky, because I never get the blues; Yes, sometimes I get angry, and sometimes I’m hurtin’, too; I might even get lonely, but not like most people do; Then again, I’m just lucky; Yes, I count myself lucky; Hell yes, I’m quite lucky because I… never get… the… blues.

Contact- erwin@realsurfersdotnet

All rights reserved for “I Guess I’m Lucky,” Erwin A. Dence, Jr.

THANKS, as always, for checking out my site. Good luck, get some waves.

The Fine Art of Self Aware Sublimation/Repression

Posted on by under "Swamis" the novel, mind surfing, northwest surfing blog,, old surfers, real surfers, surf addiction, surf culture, surf fiction, surf novels, surf sessions, surfing blogs, surfing in Washington State, writings of Erwin Dence

My cat, TONY, destroying a corner of my drawing table, and NAM SIU and I (no, not my sprinter van, but, yes, a sprinter van) taken recently. Nam has been recovering from a horrific illness in which he lost a significant percentage of his body fat. When I saw him a while back, I, of course, asked him (in my usual friendly way) if he HAD TO gain it all back and more at one time. I sort forced him to get a photo taken with before he loses the weight, which I have no doubt he will. I have no illness-related explanation of or excuse for my weight-to-head size, BUT, hey, I have to say… yeah, I look pretty good.

Nam’s once and current diet.

UNNECESSARILY DEEP PSYCHOLOGICAL STUFF

Wait! No! The Superbowl was, like, two weeks ago, the next season is… a ways away. The swells from the atmospheric rivers are pumping waves somewhere, but not into the oddly tilted Strait of Juan de Fuca, and the forecast is kind of bleak. What now?

I choose this design by JUNAARTFOUND because the tagline said something about ‘Sublimation.’ This is a word I can never think of when I’m thinking of how we substitute (re-channel is probably more accurate) our own desires (some of which are of a… pardon me… sexual nature) into something else. Like, maybe, sports. There are other outlets for the tensions that, some evidence shows, humans seem to be cursed, or blessed with. Prayer and denial are popular. Repression. Sure. Violence, real or imagined, is, obviously, one way to control or burn our lust, bloodlust or whatever-lust. Video games and John Wick movies; there are choices other than signing up to join ICE

Psychology 101 taught me, if little else, that all lusts seek to eliminate themselves. Hunger-eat, for example. The philosophical followup is that being full, satiated, only lasts so long. There is something that tastes better than a perfect strawberry dipped in dark chocolate. Maybe. There is a wave riding experience beyond the most perfect ride we can remember.

So we continue the search.

AS I WRITE THIS, I’m feeling a bit apologetic for getting too deeply into all this. Too late. We all have tensions and stressors. We all need outlets. I have been accused, at least once, of being repressed. A bit surprising to me since my emotions seem easily read, and I’m also accused of being filterless, of saying what I’m thinking before I think about what I’m saying. YEAH, okay, I’ll say I am. There’s more I don’t say. I have fears that go beyond my family and my friends. Fear leads directly and quickly to anger. I have anger issues stemming from tragedies and horrors I cannot stop, or even lessen. I have also been described as having an inadequate amount of empathy. I have enough to feel for those who do.

I DEVOTE A LOT of my energy to not panicking to not freaking the fuck out.

Writing is one of my de-stressors, a place where I can push my fear of speaking out, the boundaries of my repression, peacefully, knowing that even if I write what I consider the perfect turn of phrase, the perfect rebuttal to those who push the hateful lies and seek protection (or actively protect) from accountability for the most heinous acts, it won’t be enough. I won’t be satisfied for long.

TO BRING THIS BACK to surfing; one of the oft-spoken values is that one can forget everything else and move in the cosmic wonderfulness. FACT CHECK- Yes, this happens. If the goal is to move through the changing crowds and conditions without panicking or freaking the fuck out, and surf until you’re exhausted enough that you don’t care who gets that wave you might have surfed better, congratulations. If you got a ride to put into your near-perfect file… that’s probably as good as it gets.

CONTACT- erwin@realsurfers.net

INSTAGRAM (mostly original songs with harmonica)- realsurfersdotnet

THE video, “ERWIN” is now on my ABOUT page. If you haven’t seen it… check it out.

‘SWAMIS’ UPDATE- I’m up to, like, page 200, of 226, on what I hope to be my final edit before someone has the good sense to publish the novel.

PAGE II- NON-POLITICAL ERWIN. There is an update concerning why anyone would feel compelled to give a shit about kid rock.

THANKS for checking out my blog. See out on SURF ROUTE 101.

Superbowl Rehash/Recovery/Convalescence and…

Posted on by under northwest surfing blog,, old surfers, real surfers, surf culture, surf culture events, surfing blogs, surfing Southern California in the 60s, Uncategorized, writings of Erwin Dence

Me, with hearing aids, and Dru’s ginger cat, NICHOLAS, aka Sam Darnold.

DYLAN SCOTT, the son of TRISHA’S brother and his wife, JIM and GREER (note how inclusively proper I’m being), sent me this shot of him surfing at a spot he (and SURFLINE, to whom [whom because corporations are people, too] he pays a possibly significant monthly fee) identify as “GEORGE’S.

It is obvious, at 9:53 or so on SUPERBOWL SUNDAY, that goofyfoot Dylan has the green light in his favor as well as a reduced crowd because all the North San Diego County surf enthusiasts were, no doubt, pulling avocados off the trees to prepare a satisfying snack. WHAT wasn’t obvious to me, when I was checking out the photo on the phone, in bed (after a game that was probably boring [other than the half time show] for everyone who wasn’t a SEAHAWKS or, you know that other team fan, with us [Seahawks fans] absolutely riveted/worried, clutching our skittles, and oysters, and rosary beads, and listening to STEVE RAIBLE and DAVE WYMAN on the radio because we just don’t trust or like commentary from CHRIS COLLINGSWORTH)… exhausting… what wasn’t obvious to me was, where the hell is George’s. SO, I texted Dylan.

Evidently George’s is on the section of beach between CARDIFF REEF and SEASIDE TRAILER REEF, both of which, according to my research on the GRAM, were going off on this day. SO, I had to do more texting, the you-really-don’t-want-to-hear “Back in my day” stories, bearing in mind that I started surfing the North County beaches beyond Oceanside Pier and Tamarack in 1965, and left the area in late 1978. “Just in time” you might say. “Yes. I hear it has become more crowded.”

SO, Dylan, ya see, that part of the beach, in the mid seventies, when I lived in Encinitas, was called STRETCHMARK BEACH. This was, according to the hipster who hipped me to it, because, paraphrasing here, “Surf chicks who, like, had babies, they would take them there rather than, you know, other spots.” However rude and inappropriate, I stand by the previous name.

Continuing the ‘my day’ stuff, before my day, there was a pier in Cardiff, and, when I moved to the Great Pacific Northwest, SEASIDE TRAILER PARK was not yet a parking lot. AND, and, yes, I did once surf there, on a Sunday afternoon, with DONALD TAKAYAMA the only other surfer in the water.

NOT bragging, but grateful.

“ERWIN” THE MOVIE news:

Not sure this will work. I have the cheapest WordPress account, and didn’t think I could have videos. I ran into JASON QUEEN, both of us getting skunked. He stumbled onto the beach and into this video by Annie Fergerson. The link I previously posted no longer works. Possibly because the video was picked up and shown as part of the PORT TOWNSEND FILM FESTIVAL and was part of the worldwide SAVE THE WAVES festivals, Jason seemed to believe there is some fame attached to being in it. YES, there is now a sub-genre of videos featuring old surfers still at it, but, no, I don’t seem to have any lingering side effects of my notoriety.

All I was really trying to do was post the link. If you haven’t seen this, yes, I do realize there’s a bit of comic relief here, and, yes and again, I do realize my level of ridiculousness. I just keep trying to rise above it. OR, maybe it’s part of my evil scheme to get a few more waves in a crowd.

GRIPES AND HYPES, and any comments, write me at erwin@realsurfers.net

INSTAGRAM ME- realsurfersdotnet

HEY, if I can, indeed, post videos, I might try putting up another page with some MUSICAL ERWIN stuff. FUN. Hope you’re getting enough waves that you won’t be there when I go the next time. Nothing personal. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to those I love, and to all lovers. HAPPY HATERS’ DAY (whenever that is- seems to be most days) to all the haters.

There is no top to love short of heaven, no bottom to hate. The difference between love and hate is the difference between flying and falling. It’s where you land. Oh, yes, and how you land.

Triple Win… Perhaps, and (Some) Credit to San Francisco 49ers and LA Rams

Posted on by under Erwin Dence surf illustrations, northwest surfing blog,, old surfers, real surfers, surf illustrations, surf novels, surfing illustrations, writings of Erwin Dence

After a session at a spot on the Olympic Peninsula coast, RICO MOORE, watching (or taking over) someone else’s fire, took the photo of KEITH DARROCK coming in. I ‘borrowed’ and posted it. THEN I did a black and white drawing. (obviously not, like, traced), made a copy of it, colored it in. Not satisfied, I made a copy of that so I could add more ink. Then… fattened up the borders. SO, multiple credit. YES, I will offer Rico a copy. And then… I might go back, turn it into more of a poster look.

Nothing is ever really finished.

The SUPERBOWL is (maybe you heard) coming up, and our (funny how and when we claim ownership of teams we in no way own) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS are up against the NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (not arguing how folks with opposing views all consider themselves the ‘real’ patriots- maybe that’s as American a thing as there is) in the sixtieth rendition of this game/event/show.

As much as we (fans, casual to occasional to rabid) HATE hate hate the other three teams in the NFC WEST (maybe a little less this year for the Arizona Cardinals), it seems pretty apparent, with three teams from our Conference in the playoffs, that LA and San Francisco are… good.

It seems, also, obvious, that playing at least twice a season against great (yeah, I bumped them up- because we’re here- wouldn’t have, otherwise) teams only makes the Seahawks BETTER.

NOT that it’s going to be a blowout on Sunday; we’re all way too superstitious (backed up by, you know, history) to get too too cocky, but (yes, I’m knocking on wood AND crossing myself), if, say, the game, as some Superbowls have been, is pretty much over by halftime (I almost never watch the halftime shows- probably will this year in support of American performer), I will watch it until…

THE END.

WSL- I am waiting for more PIPELINE. I am sorry Mason Ho isn’t still in it.

INSTAGRAM- I posted another original video, me playing Harmonica and singing the first verse of an original song. Check it under Erwin A. Dence, Jr. or realsurfersdotnet Here are the lyrics, mine, copyrighted, all rights reserved (legal required):

I see she has an ukulele, ukulele, ukulele; I’m betting that she plays it daily, Ukulele, hukalau.

Every surfer needs an ukulele, ukulele, ukulele; I bought myself an ukulele, maybe she could teach me how.

I have many, many original songs. I am going to try to put one out there on MONDAYS.

CONTACT- erwin@realsurfers.net

Waves… they’re out there.

Check Me Out on the Gram; Me, Some Surfing, Some Seahawks, Some Music Stuff, and Everything Marshawn Lynch… Oh, and… NEW- Page II, NON-POLITICAL ERWIN

Posted on by under northwest surfing blog,, old surfers, real surfers, writings of Erwin Dence

I believe I got this from the NFL. Marshawn Lynch got fined, famous, and somehow, beloved.

After an extended period of not being on Facebook, Linked In, and Instagram, because I want to further my non-house-painting ambitions, and acting on some advice from… NO, it was partly because Olympic Peninsula ripper KEITH sent me a video of soul surfer CLINT THOMPSON (clintthompson1065 instagram handle) playing a guitar and singing a song he wrote and… AND Keith, Port Townsend Librarian, and I have been discussing and sort of planning the NEXT OCCASIONAL SURF CULTURE ON THE STRAIT OF JUAN DE FUCA EVENT, placing an emphasis on SURF MUSIC… AND I (admittedly and sadly not a great singer) do some song writing… AND I wanted to watch the video, but couldn’t… AND because Keith has spent some of his TIME SUCK hours on Instagram… AND… so… now…

I’M BACK on Instagram. Yes, I needed DRU to find my password and all that, BUT, once on there, I possibly posted a sketch, possibly wrote a comment urging anyone to check out my blog. I say ‘possibly’ because I haven’t figured out how to find my site. OKAY, for you, it’s either under REALSURFERSDOTNET (probably lower case), OR you can look for Erwin A. Dence, Jr.

My next step was to get the App on my phone. Got it without help. Then… THEN I started ‘FOLLOWING.’ Maybe it’s like Facebook, when I, very briefly, tried that out, before the thought of begging anyone to ‘like’ me (the theory being if I like you, maybe you might like me back) slowed me down to… a… stop. It’s out there, along with my abandoned LinkedIn account and my lapsed membership in several organizations. But, maybe, later, I’ll be more of a joiner.

THE NFL CONFERENCE GAME IS TODAY, so all these SEAHAWKS SITES (players with highlights, critics with critiques, soothsayers with sooth, and I just kept hitting “FOLLOW” like I was another football adjacent and rabid believer/fan, ready for any content, real or (even) AI, that projected OUR TEAM as WINNERS.

The ALGORITHMS are clear; I need MORE MARSHAWN!

THIS is me writing on Saturday night. There are many anxious hours before Marshawn raises the 12th man flag tomorrow.

We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow on the SEAHAWKS side of things. I did look for Clint Thompson on Instagram; didn’t find him. I WILL and I’ll let you know. YES, I did ‘follow’ some more folks, did watch some more vids. Sorry.

ACTUAL SURF STUFF- The coast frequently has waves. True. I did get in a couple of sessions since my rejection a while back. Not all time; one was almost fifty/fifty between awkward-but-reasonably okay rides and blown waves, with at least one makes-it-worth-it ride, the second was maybe 60/40, good to crappy, with more of those swoopy, slippery rides I love. Next time…

NEW, NEWER, NEWEST- PAGE II – NON-POLITICAL ERWIN-

You may not check our realsurfers.net to read about politics. That’s fair. Perhaps your world is so focused on getting barreled that you don’t want to devote the head space to considering just how fucking dangerous our country is right now. Sure, tens of thousands (unbelievably) are being killed in Iran for protesting and, you know, like only a few hereabouts, so…

So I decided to add a page for NON-POLITICAL ERWIN. Check to top line. If you click on Page II, yeah, political shit. As with everything to do with my site, your choice. It’s (still) America. Freedom!

A sign for 37-year-old Alex Pretti, who was fatally shot by a U.S. Border Patrol officer earlier in the day, is displayed during a vigil Saturday, Jan. 24, 2026, in Minneapolis. (AP Photo/Adam Gray)

A final motivation in my pushing the boundary of my computer skills is the murder, yesterday (this is me editing on Sunday) of ALEX PRETTI. TRISH got an email from her cousin, STEVE, in Minnesota. Steve is retired Air Force, and recently went through a horrific fight with cancer of the tongue. Horrible. Mr. Pretti was an ICU nurse on his case. So, a real person doing a job that, forgive me if I’m wrong, a hateful person cannot do. Dead. Pepper sprayed, beaten, shot ten times.

Again, forgive me if I’m concerned enough to write something about this. SO, PAGE II.

NOTE- I do edit the shit out of my blog, but I haven’t figured out how to edit the page II, so there’s not much on there this time. As with all things real: NEXT TIME.

To quote the Stephen Stills/ Buffalo Springfield lyrics, “Something’s happening here, what it is ain’t exactly clear, there’s a man with a gun over there, telling me I’ve got to beware.” What I might say, if I were to be in any way political (or bolder than I am) of the intimidation tactics so popular with ICE is that “It works either way.” If agents of the government, pocketing their shockingly high signup bonus, jacked up on fake machismo, brandishing automatic weapons against civilians, hiding their faces because soldiers for a just and righteous cause should be anonymous, promised immunity by unelected, power and hatred-maddened advisors, unchecked by those elected to contain egregious overreach, unrestrained by the laws, the Constitution, and any sense of a shared humanity, kill Americans with impunity, it chills the rest of us. If one or more of these murderers is brought to justice… same result; bad apple in a supposedly just role. Beware.

There are heroes out there. There is truth. Out there.

I am available; erwin@realsurfers.net. Don’t be afraid to write.

Seahawks Today, Dylan Laughs (Not AI), Sketch,

Posted on by under Erwin Dence surf illustrations, non-political Erwin,, northwest surfing blog,, old surfers, real surfers, surf art, surf illustrations, surf novels, surfing Southern California in the 60s, surfing Swamis, writings of Erwin Dence

Image by David Patterson

I must be buying into the hype. Definitely feeling the anxiety; Seahawks and Forty-Niners. There’s too much history. It says something that three teams from the NFC West are in the playoffs. There was no way it wasn’t going to be us against San Francisco or, maybe worse, Los Angeles. This is part of the reason I’m doing this today rather than after the… whatever happens five hours or so from now.

This drawing was inspired by a photo by RON STONER of BARRY KANAIAUPUNI, Malibu, 1965. I remembered seeing a video (film) of the stylemaster and power surfer executing a ride at Malibu, ending it with a perfect kickout-to-knee paddle. I was looking for a photo sequence of him (or anyone) executing an in-the-tube island pullout. When I compare my drawing with the photo… Tough with pen and ink to get an image as smooth and glassy as a Stoner photo.

Mike Doyle doing a STANDING ISLAND PULLOUT at Makaha. Photo by JOHN SEVERSON.

No one seems to have the island pullout as part of their surf repertoire. Along with a flyaway kickout, the island pullout was one of my favorite moves. Usually done from a crouch, one version involves (possibly) grabbing the outside rail and rotating the nose of the board into the wave until the fin pops out. The island pullout has largely been replaced by airs and off-the-lip maneuvers, those descendants of the 60s era ‘roller coaster.’ Nowadays, when I have to bail on my SUP; I try to fall forward and crank. It sort of works.  


                          UNTIL DYLAN LAUGHS (Not AI)

I haven’t had one of these dreams in a while. Dreams are meant to vanish, and most do; except that, these dreams leave an impression that is more like a memory of something real. I had one of these dreams last night.

There are several specific categories of these false memory dreams, some frightening, others annoyingly repetitious, each seemingly rotating in randomly, as if they’re on shuffle.

In the Dylan-specific dream category, I’m, and not for the first time, at some gathering in a dark room, a dining room or a motel room or a café. I’ve always had the impression that the location is somewhere up in Bakersfield or San Bernardino, though neither of these cities have been ‘up’ for me in many a year.

There are five or six of us sitting at a table, mostly men, playing cards in a lazy sort of way.  There is a woman, an unlit cigarette in her mouth, one over to my right. Dylan is straight across from me, pulling in a loose scattering of chips and a pocket watch.

“Lucky,” someone says.

Dylan nods and pushes the watch toward the middle of the table.

Others in the room are shadows in the hazy background, sitting on couches or leaning in toward each other. Over the muffled conversations and clinking glasses I can hear, vaguely, another woman, one I cannot see, singing. She finishes up a tangly, cowboy sort of song, her guitar backed by at least one other, with la la las rather than lyrics.  

Then silence.

Dylan is nodding. He looks to my right, to my left, then directly at me.

This is Dylan somewhere just before, perhaps, he took on the Salvador Dali look.

He takes off his sunglasses, squints, looks at his hands, looks back at me. His expression seems to be asking if I have something to say. Or ask.

He is waiting; but he won’t wait for long.

“I, um, It’s just that I’ve always wondered what kind of person can just… sing, sing in front of… I mean, even in front of a few friends… Not to mention… even more… people.”

There is, of course, a hush. Waiting.

Then Dylan speaks. “I’ve… I’ve just always wondered…” Dylan was mocking me. Had to have been. But he was smiling. His speaking voice, and I’ve always noticed this, is exactly like my brother Jon’s. There were some background chuckles. “I’ve wondered… how someone can just… show up… in another person’s dreams.”

Pause.

“You…  You invited me.

                          

It took a few moments, hiking up the beach, to realize this wasn’t what my brain said it was; a jetty where there had not been a jetty. Optical illusion. If it appears there are rideable waves; no, also an illusion. The log was jammed into the rocks during the recent KING TIDES. For now, it provides a convenient spot for celebrating.

LET’S look for something worth celebrating.

SO, The non artificial intelligence generated (so, I guess, real) illustration and piece on Dylan are copyright protected, all rights reserved by Erwin A. Dence, Jr.

NON-POLITICAL ERWIN- I’m going check into doing a second page. I’d really prefer to not get involved in all the disturbing shit going on, ICE-TAPO, GREENLAND LUST, PEDOPHILE PROTECTORS, HEALTH CARE FUCK STORIES, CONGRESSIONAL SURRENDER, SUPREME COURT DISFUNCTION, EPSTEIN SKIDS, FIRST AMENDMENT THREATS, NOBEL PRIZE REGIFTING, EGO STROKING, EPSTEIN, EPSTEIN, Yeah, shit like that. Not that I have any strong opinions.

And if I do, they are, thankfully, protected by the U.S. Constitution.