There once was a KING of Malibu, A. warrior king with a wicked smile, He danced to the nose, chucked his board at his foes, and, I don’t know, he’s been dead a while.
There is no royal succession. If Citizen Dora hadn’t been such an outstanding surfer, he would have just been another asshole. He had no power if he wasn’t in the water. Yes, he had grievances with inland cowboys and other interlopers, but he also was an extra in surf-exploitation movies, and, and, and… as kings do, he’s gone. Maybe there’s a current king of Malibu. I could give a fuck. NO KINGS, NO KINGS, NO KINGS, NO KINGS. FOR GOD’S SAKE, FOR AMERICAN DEMOCRACY’S SAKE, NOOOOOOO KINGS.
Stay safe, catch a few waves, call out (nicely) anyone who believes they rule the waves, even if it’s me. Oh, and you can write me at erwin@realsurfers.net
“Line of… succession? What? Oh, line. Yeah… no; I never did a line of that… whatever. You have some.”
Totally made up line, but, to recap; fuck a bunch of dictatorial assholes.
UPDATE/EDIT/CORRECTIONS- There was a it of discussion among surfers willing to include me in their group text chatter about how blurry my photos are. Okay, so I thought I was cleaning the lens on my phone; evidently it was the window thingie over the battery. SO, JOEL sent me this photo of Rico and Keith and some fat, Hobbit-like dude. Way too realistic. SO he sent this modified version. “burred,’ he wrote. Not sure if he meant blurred or burned. Not enough o either. Still… better. thanks.
ALSO, CHRIS EARDLEY, who seemed to know almost everyone in attendance on Friday night, says. the guy I identy as Matt is actually named Gus. Keith filled me in on the names of other important folks who were at the event. This was over the phone, so, naturally, I’ve forgotten the names. No disrespect intended.
OKAY, SO… SAVE THE WAVES
So many events in life are the result of circumstance. Timing and opportunity. We know there are no waves in Port Townsend, but, because the beautiful Northwest Maritime Center at the end of Water Street was available, and because LUKE (apologies for not having his last name- can’t we just go by first names or nicknames?), who MC’ed the event, is a member of the Save the Waves group, the Surfrider Foundation, AND, evidently has a connection to the Maritime Center (YEA!) a part of the worldwide festival was held in a surf town with a notoriously rabid and frequently frustrated group of surfers, and, again, no surf.
The short documentary, “Erwin,” is part of the worldwide festival, and, as my daughter, Dru, informed me, later, it was the only one filmed in the US. More on this coming. I had to be there. I wanted the event to be a success, and it was. Without a lot of publicity, enough people showed up that more chairs had to be brought out. It proved to be an opportunity for surfers to chat somewhere other than the lineup or the beach. And everyone was well behaved.
LUKE and another important guy (more apologies) announcing ahead of the short documentaries.
Legendary Olympic Peninsula path(wave)finder Darryl Wood (please forgive me if his name is misspelled), chatting with the important guy from the first photo. Darryl was the first surfer I met when I moved to the northwest in late 1978. The Hood Canal Bridge sank on Tuesday, February 13th. The state set up a passenger only ferry service, and Darryl and I were part of the first day’s riders on Monday, February 19. He was working for a contractor at Puget Sound Naval Shipyard, I was a painter. He did mention something about Jesus to someone, not me, and must have said something about surfing, because, the next Saturday, February 24, decked out in a diver’s suit, crotch strap and all, with no hood, no booties, my sister’s surfboard (I’d sold all of mine), California wax, I was in the lineup at a spot you can no longer (legally) access directly. It was 38 degrees on the beach and my board kept flying out from between my legs. I caught a couple of waves, but he drop was so quick, I ended up kneeboarding. Yeah, sign of things to come.
At some point Trisha’s supposed-to-be family station wagon became our Kitsap County side car pool vehicle (nicknamed the scum car pool by Darryl, no reference to the riders). Darryl and I, and the other 6 or 7 riders all have stories from the commute. Enough so that, having been on the receiving end (“Thank you, Officer.”) of three speeding tickets in one year on the Clear Creek Road (this was before the freeway sections), trying to make the five-something ferry, I was deemed ineligible to drive when Jefferson County set up a van pool. Relief for everyone.
“Pass ’em, Erwin!” Both stories hinge on this. FIRST- At my co-pilot’s urging, I passed a slowpoke on the onramp on his right. The next day (I was off), the scumcar pool was pulled over. “Mr. Dence?” “Not here, Officer; but he’s a very careful driver.” SECOND- A woman was pouring her heart out about life and problems, and Jesus; and Darryl was, of course, listening intently. I was listening accidentally. She was at the point where she said something like, “All I could think of to do was sing, ‘Jesus loves you, yes he does…'” Yes, the distraught woman was singing. We were close to the ferry turnoff on a shortcut, time was short, and there was someone unconcerned about getting home in front of us. I passed them, dropped off my passengers so they could make the boat, and missed it because I had to park the car. “Yes, he does,” I may or may not have sung.
I only see Darryl occasionally, but, I consider him a friend. I asked him fairly recently why he never tried to talk about Jesus with me. “I didn’t think I had to.”
ARNOLD, Darryl’s longtime surf partner, explaining that no one has ever seen a wave this high in the Strait of Juan de Fuca. OR, because these photos are not in sequence, he may have said, “Yes, my wife did win the LIB-TECH surfboard. If you really need one…” I reminded Arnold of the time, not all that long ago, when he was out and I was the third-oldest surfer in the water. He said something like, “Wow.”
Someone I don’t know, RICO (looking surprised I was taking his picture), and the back of CHRIS EARDLEY. The guy in the background in the black hat came up to me later. “Remember me?” “No. Sorry.” “It’s Tim… you called me ‘Tim from Sequim.'” “Oh. well. Look over there, it’s Chimacum Timacum.” The woman with him introduced herself. Forgot her name. Sorry. If she had a nickname…
My daughter, Dru, someone poking himself in the eye, some out of focus guy looking a bit ominous.
The moon over Admiralty Inlet as the short documentaries were playing.
CHIMACUM TIM not looking at all like a guy with a Philadelphia/Jersey Shore confrontation-ready attitude, and ANDREA. I did send Tim the photo and did ask if it was okay to post it. I am so non-confrontational. He said it was kind of out of focus. Yeah, well, most times part of my finger would be over your face, Tim.
Rico, KEITH, and JOEL on the backwall discussing, obviously, how flat is flat, while, in the chairs, Jasmine, a. guy (just to seem cynical, may have once seen. Pete Seeger live- okay, I take it back), two people who seem, possibly, hypnotized, and KATE, not hypnotized. Kate, her husband, SEAN, and their son, sorry on the name, all surf. Family dynamic. I once witnessed them switching boards because Sean had left her with one with a broken fin. On several occasions Kate, paddling out, asked how much longer I was going to be out. Oh. “Not much longer.”
Chris and MATT at the tabe with the raffle prizes. Matt was a judge at the old Cleanwater Classic contest in Westport the year I talked TOM BURNS (not at this event) into allowing me to judge. I may be wrong about that. I helped out three times. Once I helped out with the Surfrider Foundation, selling copies of my REALSURFERS COLORING BOOK (outt of print- sorry), once I was supposed to help out with the flags on the beach (but I decided to be a spotter for the judges, denying others their turns), and, the time I did judge, everyone, evidently, had too much fun for the. head judge’s taste, I refused to call what I thought was a four point ride a six.five- whatever. I did try harder on Sunday. Too late. Sorry, Tom, didn’t mean to get you fired… also). Matt said he had a great time. As did I. WESTPORT. Everyone should go there. Oh, they do.
In the background, over Chris’s shoulder, there’s a woman talking to the guy in the yellow beanie (I had no interaction with him), and over Matt’s shoulder is her husband/lover… man. The came up to me later. He mostly lives in Costa Rica or somewhere with warm water, but he reads my blog. “Oh, so you’re the one,” I said. Not clever. So… like, send me a note, erwin@realsurfers.net and I’ll edit you in.
Newlyweds MEGAN and Chris eyeing the TODD FISCHER prints on offer at the prize table.
Winner! Yeah, I know; why do I have so many photos of Chris? His house needs painting might be one reason. Damn; should have taken a shot of Dru winning possibly the best prize of the evening, a bunch of stuff from Yeti. In the WSL, you have to get a ten point ride to score that. Good work, Dru!
POETRY STUFF-
BECAUSE I have been working toward, maybe, hopefully, selling some of the songs and poems I’ve collected over the years, AND because I’v been concentrating (using all my angst) on writing serious, pretentious, condescending poems of late, I felt compelled to attend a lecture at the Jefferson County Library featuring the Washington State Poet Laureate, Derek Sheffield, and a former wooden boat builder, now poet/mental health counselor, Matthew Nienow.
So, there’s hope. I mean, don’t ask me for mental health advice, but… I will throw down… poetry-wise.
What got me was how willing poets are to quote other poets. Quote Whitman and several audience members almost get giddy. To use a surf simile, it was kind of like when I saw MIKE DOYLE surfing at Stone Steps, 1970 or so, tucking his big frame into tiny barrels. It wasn’t Sunset, but all I could think was, “He’s not all that good.” Again, not Sunset. This was Hadlock/Irondale and I was, as I always am, amazed at how people can be in front of an audience and be… smooth.
To his credit, in my estimation, Laureate Derek seemed to be trying to bring a bit of lightness into the presentation. When no one clapped at his guest’s rendition of someone else’s poem, he did the beatnik thing of snapping the fingers of both raised hands. I so wanted, longed to join in. Maynard G. Crebs.
What I did do is wrote down a question, the dignified way to do a question-and-answer, required in this instance. I was a bit stoked when my question was chosen. Edited a bit, it was: “Are poets preachers, or reporters, or… (last second addition) cheerleaders.” I wasn’t giddy, but I did want to snap my fingers, at least once.
To quote my song, “Don’t Tell Me You’re a Poet,” … I’m a casual observer, looking over someone’s shoulder at last Sunday’s ‘New York Times…”
REGGIE SMART AND ‘ERWIN’- Reggie and I have worked together quite a bit over the past seven or eight years. At some point, Reggie started secretly filming me, then editing the phone videos down to some brief moments where I did or said something ridiculous. he then posted the clips on social media. SKIP AHEAD. He was helping me on a project on a watefront home on Dabob Bay that belongs to Annie Fergerson. NOW, I had been working on the project before Reggie came on scene, so she was sort of aware that I surf, and that I’m (often described as) a ‘character.’ All this was reinforced by Reggie’s ‘Erwhistle’ clips.
I would love to, but cannot discount Reggie’s role in my being in the documentary. I did resist it for a couple of years. Annie, a videographer for the Bill and Melinda Gates (now just Melinda, I guess) Foundation, was busy, I didn’t want to blow up any not-reallyy-secret spots, but, again, being honest, I did want to see some slow motion videos of me ripping across a long wall.
“Erwin” turned out to be a bit too true. And now it’s reaching a relatively small but worldwide audience, and it evidently ‘resonates’ (poet-ish word) with people; a ridiculous old fat guy insisting on pursuing his dreams.
So, thanks, Reggie, thanks, Annie, and thank you to the tens of folks who check out realsurfers.net on occasion.
I might edit in a reasonable poem by me if I find one decent enough. See you! get waves!
REGGIE SMART doing a side of the road deal with my. new(er) board.
It is actually pretty exciting tha the “Save the Waves” festival, which has been all around the world, is coming to Port Townsend, a place that has way more surfers than waves; in fact, no waves… ever… no how, no way. BUT, yeah; it’ll be here on Friday, October 3rd at the Northwest Maritime Center, end of Water Street. Doors open at 6pm. The event is sponsored by the Olympic Peninsula Chapter of SURFRIDER. Tickets are $10 in advance, $15 at the door. Look all this up on line.
It may or may not influence you, but the (too) short documentary, “Erwin,” by Annie Fergerson is part of the world tour. I may or may not be getting the chance to further embarrass myself and any and all real surfers by saying something about the film, just recently part of the Port Townsend Film Festival. We’ll see.
Allowed to participate in the post-screening discussion with the producers of the other, very serious films (cinemafotographer Nicolai Crane is to my right, producer Annie Fergerson to my left on the actual stage), I couldn’t resist. I know it looks like I’m hogging the purple spotlight, but, and I did think this was pretty cool of me, I thanked Annie for forcing me to be the superstar subject of a film that revealed my true ridiculousness, handed her the mic, and went back to my seat, head down (fake humbleness).
I had watched the films at the Friday night screening with my daughter, Dru, her friends and neighbors, Pete and Molly Orbea, and (kinda freeloader Reggie Smart). At the Sunday showing, Keith Darrock sat through the other films, took this photo, and showed me that we could (and did) snuck out the back door.
My five minutes of fame were over. But… are they? See you on Friday!
Scott Sullivan, owner of Strait Pizza in Port Angeles, was injured recently body surfing in Brazil. All surfers, and in particular, body surfers, are susceptible to this type of injury. Rides rarely end with a kickout. Scott was fortunate that there is no paralysis, and is recovering. There’s a GoFundMe set up. Google it.
I would feel a bit hypocritical if I didn’t mention that I had a run-in with Mr. Sullivan during a session in which the waves got more and more crowded, and, according to witness, Mikel “Squintz” Cumiskey, Scott and I were getting most of the waves (code for wave hogging). I ‘inadvertently’ dropped in on a wave he turned and took off on at the last moment, pulled out immediately when I saw him, caught the next one, and, while paddling back, noticed (because of big arm gestures) that he was berating Squintz for my sin. “He’s not even from around here,” was one of the points made. This despite Scott having moved here from somewhere on the East Coast, Mike hailing from Florida, and my having lived on Surf Route 101 since 1979. Not a local local to a local local. Still, when I paddled past Mr. Sullivan and offered an explanation if not an apology, he said, “That’s what I surf to get away from.” “Yeah. We all do” I said as I paddled past him.
I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t admit Mr. Sullivan seems, at a distance, to have a pretty cool lifestyle going on. Inviable. Nice mustache. Still, best of luck in your recovery, Scott. When I see you in the water next time…
DRAMA, SURF ANGST, DEADHEADS, ETC. Every surf session becomes another story. I love that. But, yes, I missed a recent window, and it wasn’t work this time. Keith didn’t miss it, and was willing to share some stories. A guy came up to him with a bleeding and crooked nose. “Is it straight?” “No.” The surfer grabbed it and cranked it over. “Yeah, better.” Still bleeding. Some guy burned Sean’s son on a wave and said it was okay because Sean is a standup paddleboarder. Sean, a great surfer and a local in that area, and not on a SUP (and neither was his son) continued the discussion on the beach. Keith ran into a floating log (deadhead?), dinged his board, and, more importantly, ruined his ride. The ANGST part, that’s surfers’ frustration at missing sessions, or watching surfers or attempting to ride hitting super weak waves. The only cure is getting a few waves. This could be called SURF LUST. All passion, all lust, all hunger, I heard in Psychology 101, seeks to eliminate itself. Again; the cure is… known.
Reggie and I on the progress on our portions of the project to decorate the fence around Port Townsend’s Memorial Field beore they tear it down. Not totally stoked on our possibly-finished panels, both Reggie and I really want to do another. Competitive, huh?
I can’t remember if this is the photo of RICO, writer/poet/surfer/coffee shop connoisseur, that he didn’t want posted on my silly blog, but I told him I’m a journalist, darn it, and I have something we once called freedom of speech, oh, and, if one doesn’t have some corporate overlord, freedom of the press… and…
SO, because of the movie thing, and some notion that I was kind of like famous (ish), there has been some text stuff about, yes, my wave-snagging technique. “Circle, distract, swoop” was one comment. “Seagull strategy” was another. Then Rico got involved:
“Like an eagle swooping low and swift across the water toward unsuspecting otters on a rock just gnashing with their teeth a fresh-caught sculpin, Erwin cruised around the lineup of longboard lolly gaggers on his board, feathering the water with his paddle so as not to distract them from his siren song, even as he saw, barely perceptible on the horizon, and just now pulsing the furthest kelp bed, A WAVE.
“Erwin contemplated what number it would be. 7? 10? He questioned himself. No matter, he thought, his icy blue eyes turned toward the lineup, all of whom were somewhat bemused at his placid paddling around them, his exegesis of the Ocean Book they now found themselves rising and falling on, pulled into his song, even as THE WAVE grew from the depths, circling energetically toward them, against the bathymetry of the reef and sand into its final becoming, its meeting with the epoxied edges of Erwin’s board, its destiny fulfilled, its energy fulfilling the prophecy Erwin spoke to a lolly gagging longboard lineup.”
I did get Rico’s permission to post this. My response was: “Deep thought. In reality, everyone’s just gagging on their own awesomeness, including me, caught up in the wonderfulness of just being out there, that’s ‘there’ in parentheses, and perhaps, catching a wave is of less importance for them and has less value to them than it does for me.” 2nd text- “Sociopathic kook philosophy.” 3rd text- “Even with what seems like unlimited opportunities, it doesn’t take much to realize that opportunities must be taken advantage of, or, at the very least, totally appreciated. I think we all factor in some flexibility in our lives that allows us to be there when the waves may or may not happen. Old guy fucking philosophy.” 4th text- “And I have to go to work. Fucking reality.”
I got ‘loved’ for the texts from Rico. And yes, I am competitive in things I strive to be better at. Not an apology. And yes, I do realize that my chickenshit little blog concentrates on a very small section of the surf world. Thanks for checking it out.
Possible Bonus- I have been working on my poetry stuff. I keep planning on putting samples on my site on, say, Wednesday; and then I don’t. This is a piece I have gone back to several times.
Magic in the Movements
I saw her from the lobby, two bags of groceries pressed against my chest, Above me, on the landing, third floor, My floor.
The sun from the distant windows lit her hair on fire.
Six stairs below her, I leaned against the inside rail And watched her shadow dance.
She was moving to music, music I could not hear.
Her movements made the music real.
Slink and slide and step and stop, Step and stop, slink and slide, one arm always at her side, The other, gliding, raised then lowered, Free, spelling or signing or reflecting, Words or images or memories or dreams, Real to her.
Sunset music, light, a tinkling under the woodwinds, A violin and bass adding fleeting, then deeper, hints of nightfall.
I should not have been a witness, Seeing her dancing, silent, hair on fire, In some soft and secret, And private conversation with some distant, absent, loved one.
Loved one, someone else dancing with her on the landing, Sharing the space between her and her shadow.
The background, The air and the light and the wallpaper and the paint were as alive as she was, Slinking and sliding and stepping and slowing, Listening, perhaps, briefly, as if there could be a response.
None but the traffic outside. The dance resumed, Her other arm became the free one, Sending the secret, private message in our most ancient language.
I should not have been there.
I couldn’t face facing her, Couldn’t imagine her trying to explain, Not to some neighbor, some stranger three doors down.
Perhaps she wouldn’t be embarrassed.
I would be.
Setting my bags on the third step from the landing, I sat down two stairs below that, Alone in the dark, with vague shadows of someone, dancing, Projected on the stairwell wall.
I envied her for dancing, dancing alone on the landing, Music swirling in her head.
Long after her door closed and her lock clicked, Long after the light from outside moved up the wall and softened, And faded, darkened, And the inside lights came on, Long after her music was gone, Replaced by the whirr and the squeal of the outside streets, I picked up my bags and listened, for a moment, to the city’s symphony.
My steps became drums, a plodding, heavy step, step, step, Heavy, tired, And I imagined a saxophone solo, Sad squeaks and missed notes.
Looking out the window at the remnants of a screaming orange sunset, My shadow split and diffused on the worn oak floor, I couldn’t stop myself from sliding, one foot, And then the other, Bouncing my grocery bags in some rhythm that made some sense to me.
Thanks, again. I have to check the buoys. All original stuff by me is copyright protected All rights are reserved.
This is JAY, a member of the group, tens of people, who follow my… cough… blog. Thanks, Jay. He introduced himself while I was contemplating whether or not I had damaged JEFF VAUGHN’S girlfriend by changing into my wetsuit (sans towel or available dry robe), knowing Jeff was on the beach, between Jeff’s van and a fence, not realizing she was inside. OOPS! Erwin’s ass exposed again. I mean, I got over it, but… sorry.
Jay is originally from Torrence, and because I was trying to coffee up after a session, I sicced him on Jeff, currently and again out of the water with shoulder issues. “Jeff’s from the South Bay.” Jeff, in turn, after discovering Jay grew up in the harbor where Jeff’s father was a harbormaster (I hope I got that right, I was only kind of listening), told dawn patroller TIM NOLAN he should talk to Jay. While Jeff is years younger, Jay is between me and Tim, age-wise, and Tim grew up in Palos Verdes. So… connections.
The short documentary wraps up it second showing this morning. KEITH DARROCK and I may be going. I went to the first showing on Friday night with my daughter, DRU. Her treat. PETE and MOLLY ORBEA, Molly being a lifetime friend of Dru’s, and Pete being a fancy attendee with a season pass lanyard because whatever Port Gamble corporation he works for is a big sponsor, also came. Ripper/artist REGGIE SMART got in for free (of course) courtesy of Pete, and ‘bounced’ after laughing almost uncontrollably during the almost five minutes ‘Erwin’ was on the screen.
Pete and Molly left after the next feature. Dru and I stayed until the end, including the discussion part. Since ANNIE FERGERSON, the producer of the film, wasn’t there, Dru thought I should go up on stage and represent. I didn’t. I should have. I could have said, “Yes, I realize I don’t live up to the sort of self image I would prefer to have; and, yes, the film is… pretty accurate.” I would love to take myself as seriously as the other participants seem to do.
Since I do most of my house painting in Port Townsend, and because I’m kind of competitive, I decided to participate (Reggie is also planning to add something) in the decorating of the fence around Memorial Field. This is the sketch portion of the deal. I had primer and black and white paint with me. More to come, including a couple of encounters with other artists, one of whom, when I offered friendly criticism, gave me an equally friendly, “Fuck YOU!” No, really; friendly and deserved.
Me, being serious. Photo by Jeffry Vaughn. Love the outide indicator going off while I’m navigating a trecherous inside ledge.
Jeff on the beach, Tim in the water.
Old fat guy trimming.
HEY, I have more stuff. If Keith doesn’t decide to go surfing instead, we’ll be checking out the movie. Thanks for checking out realsurfers. Send me shit at erwin@realsurfers.net
NOTE- The surf spot shown is somewhere near Westport.
…t-shirt ready. A bit too confusing, not graphic enough to be instantly recognizable, particularly in the black and white version. I should, perhaps, do an Original Erwin coloring book. A thought.
JOEL KAWAHARA’S boat, the “Karolee,” being towed into Humboldt Bay on August 14. Mr. Kawahara set out from Neah Bay the week before. After there was no contact, a helicopter flew over the boat. All the rescue gear was on board. The boat was on auto pilot for some unknown period of time, heading south at four knots. Joel is missing and presumed drowned. Quoting the Coast Guard report, “…a search was started in the waters off the Pacific Northwest. Multiple U.S. Coast Guard crews, including fixed-wing, hjelicopter, cutters, and small boat, searched for the man over nearly 24 hours… scouring an area of 2,100 miles, including 430 miles of trackline.” The report stated how difficult it is to call off a search.
I mention this here because Mr. Kawahara lived in Quilcene. I ran into him several times. We have mutual friends including the people who live on Lindsey Beach. I initially found out about the incident when working for one of his neighbors. Mr. Kawahara had a connection with Fish and Wildlife. Chris Eardley is my connection there. “I know of him. He was very active on the fisheries management council. Very sad turn of events. He was well liked here in PT.”
Very tragic indeed.
A Day at the Beach
TOP TO BOTTOM: Scroll as necessary.
Three participants in a WARM CURRENTS event at La Push. Natalie, in the middle, is from Port Townsend, and may have been a bit miffed I didn’t recognize her. “You looked taller before,” I said, “You probably shouldn’t stand next to such a tall person.” I don’t know who he tall guy is, but the woman on the right, Majia, is from the surf destination of Minnesota. “Great.”
This rig hit a dear on the way out on 112. Yet another reason to never go on 112. For California surf hunters, never go on THE 112.
The last time I saw this older gentleman he was on a kayak. “Nice mustache,” I said. “Walrus,” he called me. “No, that’s a different guy.”
Bill Truckenmiller, a pathfinder of Olympic Peninsula surfing, deciding if this was the place to surf on this particular summer day. I had seen him fairly recently, different spot, didn’t get a photo.
Kim Hoppe, formerly of Port Townsend, just visiting from some town in California near Rincon. An interior designer, Kim said she’s making a living mostly doing art. “Art. Really?” I told her, when I arrived, that she was in my spot. Perhaps as payback for my not recognizing her, she told Tom Burns, who was supposed to be saving my preferred spot, that she once had to rescue me when some tourist thought I was drowning. “See,” I told Tom, “My stories are true. Cops showed up.” When I asked Kim if there were any of the PT crew she wanted me to pass on a ‘hello’ to she said Shortboard Aaron and Keith. In that order. And, no, she didn’t ‘save’ save me, she just carried my board to my van. Embarrassing enough. But… true. Making a living selling art. Whoa!
Somewhere during the day, Gianna Andrews was parked next to me. She had a painting on the inside of her van’s back door. “Oh, you do art?” I asked. She gave me this sticker. Gianna is a serious artist with a very professional website. Check it out. Again, making a living producing and selling art. Wow!
Tom Burns asked me to send this photo to him, then asked me not to post it. I assume he was kidding. I mean, Tom, it’s got that superhero kind of perspective. No one will notice the glare.
Me after all the SPF70 sunscreen went into my eyeballs. And, no, the color is not enhanced; my nose really is that purple.
Me and Nam Siu. If you’re wondering how he’s doing since nearly dying of this and that and sepsis and organ shutdown; he’s fine, working his way back up to being ready to continue our non-grudge match. I think we’re at one each, best two out of three. Or four out of seven. Depends.
Photos I wish I had gotten: Two dudes with big ass beards. “Amish surf bros” would have been the caption; Dude who thought it was cool to go out in trunks because, man, like it’s hot on the beach; old guy (not that I’m not) in really fancy surf fishing gear, lasted about ten minutes; large combined family also planning on fishing, kid with a toy pole, no line or hooks, asked me if I am a lifeguard (possibly because of the sunglasses, yellow shirt, purple nose). “Yes, yes kid I am. Just… stay out of the water.”
WSL CONTEST SCENE-
Of course I watched some heats; last contest before the big final final at Cloudbreak. Did I have favorites? Yes. Missed the women’s final live, but when I saw the score, I didn’t bother to watch the replay. I did see the men’s final. Robbo vs. Griff; not quite Kelly vs. John-John or Medina.
ESSAY/DIATRIBE gone soft
One Surfer’s ‘Epic’
Some surf lineups are objectively great enough to make my list of places I would love to surf. Dream scenarios. Epic: Lined up Jeffrey’s or Honolua Bay, or Rincon, or Malibu, or any number of “Surfer’s Journal” worthy, world class breaks. I should add that the dream situation would not include crowds. Some dreams remain dreams.
The dream list endures.
I have been fortunate enough to have been present and in the water for some historically epic swells: December of 1969- Swamis, July of 1975- Upper Trestles. There were others, swells that didn’t make it into the “Encyclopedia of Surfing,” sessions I put on my most memorable/most epic ‘up until now’ list.
While I think about this, please feel free to work up your own favorite up-to-now list of most epic individual waves and/or sessions; this distinction necessary because your best ever ride might have come in sub-epic conditions.
One ride can make a session you’ll remember: A surprising, step-off-on-the-sand, longest beach break wave ever: An accidental and frightening barrel at Sunset Cliffs; a ride on which I got wiped out on the inside section at Windansea, someone putting my board up on one of the rocks; a hundred-yard, totally in position ride at a not-quite secret Northwest spot; enough other favorite rides or sessions or days that I can’t help but feel lucky. Or blessed. Grateful, for sure.
Perhaps you have an actual list: Day, time, tide conditions, swell height, angle, and period; number of waves you caught, etc.
Cool.
I was ready to write something snarky about crowds at any spot deemed worthy, about quality waves being wasted on kooks, but… I guess, once into the subject, I changed my mind. It’s the ‘gratefulness’ thing, probably. Let’s say it is. Epic.
ATTEMPTED POETIC-ISH PIECE
“Dream,” You Said
If it was a dream, and it may have been… You were in it. But then, you were my dream, are my dream. Don’t laugh.
Your right arm was stretched toward me. Your hand was close, delicate fingers tightly squeezed together. My focus, even as you moved your hand away from your face, remained on your palm; life line and wish line and dream line and fate line.
You rotated your hand, slightly, at the wrist. Your little finger, closest to me, curled in. The others followed. One, two, three, four. The fingers came together, straightened together. One, two, three, four. And again. One, two, three.
A twist of the wrist ended the rhythm. You were pointing at me.
The last knuckle of your pointer finger moved, slightly, then re-straightened. Your thumb remained up, like a hammer on a pistol. You pulled it back with the thumb and first finger of your left hand. The word ‘yes’ was part of a laugh.
You moved your left hand away as the imaginary pistol recoiled. The fingers on both hands exploded out. You laughed. “Poof” was the word within this laugh.
Your right hand moved against your lips, fingers, wrapped over your nose and left eye, moved, slightly, to your rhythm: One, two, three, four.
Porcelain nails, jade green with ivory tips; ivory, ivory with a coral tinge; were almost tapping.
“Dream?”
“Dream,” you said, as you slid your hand down your face, the first two fingers following the ridge of your upper lip: Pulling, but only softly, on your bottom lip. Revlon red lips, since I’m naming colors. Your eyes, fully open, narrowed. Green. Of course, green; translucent, with electric lines of yellow and blue. More blue or more yellow, but always green.
Your right eye widened, a half-breath ahead of the left, to fully open.
“Dream, then,” I said.
Your right hand twisted and opened, almost like a wave. I’ll rephrase. It was almost as if you were waving, but, as you pulled your fingers in, one, two, three, four, I heard, or imagined, a sound, a wave, breaking; up, over; the wave becoming a fist. Open, repeat; one, two, three.
“After the fourth wave,” I said, “You threw your fingers out; like… like a magician, or… or like a wave exploding against a cliff. Perhaps.”
“It could be, perhaps,” you said, something like a laugh, but softer, within the words, “That it’s you, that it’s you; that you’re in my dream.”
“Then” I said, “Keep dreaming.”
“WHY DON’T YOU WRITE ME? I’m out in the jungle, “I’m hungry to hear you…” Paul Simon. You can’t get Paul, but, if you email erwin@realsurfers.net you’ll get… me. I’ll probably write back if you’re not trying to sell me improvements on my site.
AS ALWAYS, THANKS for checking out realsurfers. I checked on line and I’m not in the top fifty surf centric blogs. I’m going to add the tag, ‘Best surf blog from the northern reaches of Surf Route 101,” or something similar. Only the two essay/poem pieces are worth reserving the rights to. And I do. THANKS. Get some surf when you can. It’ll be EPIC!
Chris Eardley and Keith Darrock (and Rico and Cougar Keith) hit the Westend, searching for new waves to conquer. If they didn’t find gold. Not that I was seriously invited, but I was told the wooden path does not go all the way to the beach PLUS four days food and a big ass board. Plus… a few more minuses. What they caught and where? Stories vary.
To complete the story of the church steeple painting, I convinced Reggie Smart to finish the middle of the side of the church I couldn’t reach with the 65 foot boom. This required putting a ladder on the roof, attaching a ledger partway up to secure another ladder. You can see the setup in the lower photo. This little peak would have required some psycho setting up from the roof. It took fifteen minutes of positioning of the manlift and most of the boom to get to the spot, fifteen minutes to put a coat on the surfaces.
It was not required that we paint the cross on the top of the steeple, though the congregation clearly wanted it to happen. The difference between going above the steeple’s roof and painting below it is about twelve feet up into the wild blue yonder. I thought having Reggie with me in the basket might boost my confidence. It did not. “I’m going to throw up,” I said. “Yeah, well,” Reggie said, suggesting he might just soil himself (note my resistance at using the actual quote). Still; I do feel some shame around ‘hairing-out.’ Almost a week out, less shame. I did get the window on the fun car, damaged when I backed into the manlift turret, replaced, and I did repair the damage caused when I hit a spot on the steeple… twice. If I had the feeling, in the lift, that I’d used up my chances on this project; well, I will have to live with that.
This is a display, evidently, at the Jefferson County Fair, taken by Librarian Keith (a proposed nickname, “STACKS,” as in library shelving, has never caught on). MEANWHILE, Adam Wipeout, prominently featured, was doing double duty; attending a wedding of one or two co-workers, somewhere, and participating in the WARM CURRENTS activities at La Push. Here’s the story:
The takeway, first: Most often we listen to our own advice. SO, Adam called me this morning at 7:06. He was on his way BACK to LaPush and wondered if I wanted to catch a ride. He was probably ten minutes down Surf Route 101 and I had just gotten up. “What? No.” I asked him what he had done with his scheduling conflict from Saturday. “Dude, I did both. Didn’t you see the photo from La Push?” “The one with a one foot wave ten feet off the beach?” “No, no; it was crazy. La Push has this sandbar, and on a rising tide…” “Yeah, yeah; I’m working today so, maybe, if a swell shows up…” NOTE: the …s probably mean info I shouldn’t put out.
Two drawings I started while waiting for the Volvo’s back window to be replaced.
WSL STUFF- I did, of course, watch a lot of the surfing contest from Tahiti. More like the morning stuff, with scary scary waves the first day. I watched most of the heats on Friday, and, bucking a popular trend, didn’t really have issues with the judging. It does become obvious that the difference between winning and not is often whether a competitor’s drive overcomes his or her fear. Though there are a lot of heats to get through on the men’s side, the finalists on the women’s side, Caitlin Simmers and Molly Picklum fit that description. One thing that might improve (might) is having a non-final final with two or four of the non-finalists. I would choose Erin Brooks and Vahine Fierro. Your choice? Up to you. We’ll see.
NOT that I’m in any way political:
COMPLICITOUS
We lack empathy because we’ve never experienced real horror, We lack sympathy because we refuse to believe the horror to be as bad as we know it to be, We lack compassion because we don’t want that real horror to find us.
We look away, Complicit.
If you pass a starving child and do nothing to help, you should feel the shame, If you purposefully starve a child, Bomb a child, Snipe a child, You are the horror.
We look away, Complicit.
FROM the Old Testament, Volume II, Third Book of Netanyahu; Chapter Two, Verse three: “We basically could have eliminated the entire population of Gaza.”
Whatever God is or isn’t, God set the rules, the boundaries, the limits, God plays the long game.
We haven’t the time, We posture and push and out position, Swagger and strut past the meek and indecisive, We invest in our desires, gamble on our instincts, Hard focused on our dreams, Fame and glory and wealth and power, Power on power and power for power, Hate for hate.
God plays the long game.
Success begets success, Power attracts power.
Buffed and polished, chrome and gold and mirrors, Our lust, once everything, Breaks, Our overstuffed pockets spill out, Deeds and bonds and diamonds, Our treasures are stashed offshore, vaults, buried Pirate chests, Molding, oxidized, crumpled and corrupted, Not to be touched.
God plays the long game.
Our heavens, our yachts and cars and mansions and land, List and leak and sink, Monuments to what others will never have, Museums dedicated to someone we never will be, And never were.
God plays the long game.
Our souls, we believe, Might be retrieved, Whole. Pure. Redeemed. This is not true. We know this is not true.
We cannot love ourselves, And others will not Truly Love us.
We are unworthy of real love, Slanderers and abusers and deniers, Cheats and frauds and Liars, Painted, plastic coated, polished, And yet, Senses dulled, synapses crackling, our minds questioning Every decision, Aware we are rotting, shrinking, slowing, failing, skin sliding on the bone, Unable to recognize ourselves in smoke clouded mirrors or gold framed portraits. We fear all others.
We have to, They want what we have.
Whatever God is or God isn’t, we are not gods.
We cannot play the long game.
We haven’t the time.
AS ALWAYS, thanks for checking out realsurfers.net
WHY DON’T YOU WRITE ME? erwin@realsurfers.net
Here’s what I’m claiming rights to today: The illustrations and the poems. Copyright 2025. All rights reserved by Erwin A. Dence, Jr.
MEANWHILE, I have some surf plans. I’m thinking, maybe, if… Maybe I’ll see you out and around or driving past me. Good luck!
Faith, Hope, Confidence, Broken Window, Sally and Courtney, and Somewhere on the Coast, Somewhere on the Net… and on Being Hard to Follow
IT’S SUMMER. The odds of having waves on the Strait of Juan de Fuca is slim-to-flat. Several of my surf friends are currently out on the West End on a hike/camp/surf adventure, but, even though it’s the actual Pacific Ocean, the swell forecast isn’t stellar. Knowing the players, they’ll find waves AND there will be stories.
One of those players, in a recent cellular conversation (yeah, could have said ‘convo’), when I brought up something I had told him before, said, “Sometimes you’re kind of hard to follow.” Today’s posting will prove his point.
I have been watching the WSL contest from Huntington Beach a bit, catching up when I get home. In fact, it’s finals day and I just turned off the tablet… too distracting. I’m not sure what the WSL online complainants have to say about, say, scoring or that some glory-hogging CT surfers are involving themselves, but… highlights: Kind of rooted for nepo surfer Kalohe “Get it right” Andino; he’s out. Always root for Sally Fitzgibbons. She was number two in the Challenger Series ranking going into the event, and the number one was eliminated early. Earlier. Sally’s out. I did find out that the surfer Trish rooted for, Courtney Conlogue, is not in the contest but is working as a lifeguard in Huntington Beach and mentoring a surfer in the event (eliminated). “Good for her,” Trish said.
I did notice that a lot of the surfers, male and female, are on the Simone Biles side of Jordy Smith. Gymnast-sized hydrobats. Just an observation; no judgment.
I’VE BEEN surfing long enough that SURFER’S JOURNAL’s section that focuses on old timey surf stories is pretty much up to the era when I switched from surf mats to surfboards. SO, okay, like it’s 1969, I’m working at Buddy’s Sign Service, 1st and Tremont; close to the Oceanside Pier, one block off this stop-lighted section of Surf Route 101. The shop, in the gutted former newspaper building, a glorious place to work for a recent Fallbrook High School graduate, was also one block south and west of the then notorious Tenderloin downtown section. With the Vietnam War in full escalation mode, Commanders of Camp Pendleton were constantly threatening to not allow Marines to go to Oceanside, with the hawkers and prostitutes. Most of the Marines my age, many from small towns, they were enroute to war, yes, but Oceanside… maybe too dangerous, too scary.
Again, for me… glorious. Still, scary.
There were reasons Oceanside and Imperial Beach offered the cheapest oceanfront and ocean adjacent properties south of Orange County.
But, in the summer I had to sign up for the draft, and for classes at Palomar Junior college, with my surf friends scattering; I had a job (apprentice/nub), I had a girlfriend (Trish, same girl fifty-six years later), I had a semi-reliable car (Morris minor), and I was figuring out how to manage the fickle, sometimes frightening waves at the pier and the various other spots. I would surf before or after work, or head to Swamis or Grandview or Pipes.
Sorry. Exposition, scene setting. The freedom I felt is the very basis for my never-quite-done novel, “Swamis,” the magic I felt is the magic I want to convey. Working on it.
I convinced myself I was getting better known in the North County surf scene beyond Tamarack and Oceanside. I was becoming a regular. What I noticed, and this was discussed when I actually spoke to other surfers, that there was an influx of surfers from Texas. Texas? Yeah. According to actual locals, these dudes seemed to have money. They would stay at the motels in the Leucadia area, chase the local girls. More irritating, they’d catch some. Or the locals imagined they had. And they’d add to the congestion in the lineup, more irritating than the kooks from West Covina, only slightly less irritating than seeing the pros and magazine stars coming down from the north. I mean, like, “Fuck, man, that’s Billy fuckin’ Hamilton.”
SO, one afternoon, I’m checking out the waves at Grandview from the bluff. Four to five, maybe, and glassing off. Two guys come up to me. I shouldn’t try to copy or mimic their accents, but the waves seemed big to them, and they questioned why I’d paddle out.
FAITH.
Faith, foremost, in my ability to challenge a situation out of my comfort zone. This is a faith learned through attempting and failing, retrying and almost succeeding.
FAITH ONLY WORKS IF WE BELIEVE HAVING FAITH WORKS.
Not to get religious-ey on this, but ‘blind faith?’ No. Jesus praised those who were not witness to his miracles and yet believed. Fine. But surfers don’t take other surfer’s word for things: “Do you have any photos? Witnesses?” “Yeah.” “Oh, and I’m supposed to believe that guy; dude who said it was eight feet when it was… I was out… more like six feet?”
There is a difference between having the confidence to believe you can paddle out and ride a few waves and the wisdom to decide you probably shouldn’t try. It’s learned, usually the hard way. A lot of experience may or may not give one a bit of knowledge.
EQUIPMENT- Almost immediately on starting work at Buddy’s I was sent out (alone) to repaint some metal structures that hold interior lit plexiglass signs. One of the first ones I attempted was on a severe slope. Daunting. Ladders require an even footing. I figured it out, got it painted despite being scared shitless, and got questioned (chewed out) on how long it took. “What?”
Next challenge- a forty-foot ladder. Like a kook paddling with too much nose in the air, a rookie ladder person will try to make the clime less steep. There I was on the main drag in Oceanside, the angle probably 45 degrees. Boing, boing. Next challenge- Manlift. The guy from Federal signs was operating the boom. I was painting the pole with aluminum paint, and the cross at the top with white. I worked my way up. Okay. Take it slow. Got to the cross. Switched paint. Started at the top. When I reached for the cross, it moved. A lot. Almost lost my balance, almost lost my breakfast. “You okay, kid?” “I don’t know.” The man was laughing. “Yeah, you’re fine.”
SLOW FORWARD to now; I’m working on a job (with Reggie Smart- he’s on social- look him up) I would have been happy not doing. A church steeple that requires the use of a manlift with a 65-70 foot boom. SCARY.
But I have faith in the equipment. So far, and I’m almost done, the faith is well founded. I only bumped into the building, softly, a couple of times… OH, but I did back the fun car into the turret. Shattered but intact. Fuck! The white trash, duct tape fix didn’t make it from Port Townsend to Quilcene. I’m getting it replaced on Wednesday, hopefully just in time for the next pulse of waves. I’ll let you know. I mean, after the fact.
It is summer, but… after faith comes HOPE.
Thanks, as always, for checking out realsurfers.net AND, with your praise and your own stories, please (if you’re not a site-builder or content consultant) fly me a line at erwin@realsurfers.net
Let’s see- I borrowed the surfing photo. All others and the content is original, so, protected by copyright UPDATE- I would have thought Kanoa would win. Despite my not rooting for him, he was just eliminated. On to Tahiti!
I have a self-imposed deadline for posting. It’s, like, noon on Sundays. I wrote about the big incident without the input from Tim Pauley. THEN, heading off somewhere, and because surf journalist emeritus (I hope he’s not offended) Drew Kampion commented on today’s posting with a bit of a cosmic message(as of there was a photo included, but there wasn’t). Thinking I couldn’t see it because IO was on the tablet, I checked the big computer. WHOA! message from Chimacum Tim. So, of course, after practically begging him to write up the incident, I have to post this. I;m not deleting what I wrote (yet). See if they, you know, match. SO…
A few days ago while surfing the 10th St. jetty in Avalon, New Jersey I saw the mast of a sailboat on the other side of the jetty, dangerously close to the rocks. Thinking to myself there might be people in danger, I abandoned my surf session and ran to the jetty. There was a group of us that witnessed eight kids and two instructors on the tiny 24 foot sailboat. Having sailed across oceans and worked on tugboats offshore, this was the heaviest thing I’ve ever seen. There was nothing we could do for the kids. The boat swayed violently in the waves against the jetty, and jumping off the boat was putting your life in peril. We yelled to the kids to stay on the boat and help was coming. But all us responders were helpless to watch the carnage unfolding. It wasn’t until the keel snapped off the boat and the jetty released the hull of the boat that the kids had a chance. The boat started to drift away from the rocks, but was taking on water. Once the boat was almost entirely underwater, the entire crew made a jump for it into the raging current. Fortunately, they all had life preservers, and there were a couple other boats at the mouth of the inlet to scoop them up.
Everyone made it back to the Beach. The kids were beyond brave, and a number of people in the community, on the boats, and on the beach were able to assist. It was pretty cool to experience that in this day and age. There are still people willing to put their life on the line in order to help others.
Tim
My take:
I’ve been checking out Chimacum Tim’s chickens while he was on the East Coast. Tim’s father has had some medical issues; Tim has been helping out. AND, of course, surfing. Tim’s dad lives in New Jersey, in or near Avalon, which is, evidently, an island, so… surf. I wasn’t sure when Tim was coming back, so, on Friday, I cruised by. Tim was there, and he looked like shit. I, of course, told him so. Not the first person to say so, so… confirmation.
Tim, rather politely, explained he had a hell of a flight getting home, AND… “Oh, did you hear about the sailboat crashing. Wednesday. It was the heaviest thing I’ve ever seen on the water.”
I asked Tim, politely, to write something about the incident and send it to erwin@realsurfers.net so I could post a first hand account. He didn’t. He’ll have to rely on my second hand narration. I will try to duplicate my friend’s voice, though without the Philly/Jersey accent or attitude. Paraphrasing:
“It was a pretty north swell. Waist to chest. Pretty good. Not too crowded. I see this sailboat. It’s headed toward the jetty. There were two instructors and eight kids… students.”
Okay, I’ll skip the fake quotes. Tim and some other surfers run over to the jetty. The boat’s engine had failed at the worst time, the boat was hitting the rocks, and it looked like the crew and the kids were ready to bail. This would have been a very bad choice. Tim and the others were frantically yelling. It was… heavy. AND THEN another boat pulled the sailboat off the rocks, but THEN the boat began to sink.
In the end, the ten sailors were saved. It made national news. When I told Trish about it, she, of course, already knew. “Yeah, but Chimacum Tim was there!” “Uh huh. How are his chickens?” “Fine. The one hen is still sitting on the eggs, the others are still being mean to her, and Tim says…” “Yeah; I have to go.”
RECAP- Tim surfed. One of the heroes on Wednesday, flew home on Thursday, looked like shit on Friday. I’m sure he’s recovered by now. He will have to go back to work on the Washington State Ferry system soon. “You must have had some heavy moments on the ferries.” “Sure.” “Maybe you could write something, send it to me at erwin@realsurfers.net and…” “Yeah. Hey; thanks for checking on my chickens. I gotta…” “Yeah; maybe a nap, huh?”
Surf adventurer Tim Polley explaining how waves are still necessary for real surfing
Dru’s new cat, Nicolas, checking out the Port Gamble traffic. Yeah, Nicky, they’re all heading for or coming back from the Olympic Peninsula by way of the Hood Canal Bridge. Some have boards.
Idling, sounds, not quite music, droning to match the stops and goes,
Heading somewhere you have to be
More than you want to be,
Somewhere where the redundancies cannot be denied.
You long to be somewhere, somewhere else.
There, not here.
Time and space and gravity,
All the rules and laws and circumstance,
Somewhere else is where your mind has gone,
Somewhere where you’re sliding,
Weightless,
Smooth across a tilting sea,
Tucking under showers,
Gliding in a perfect light,
Dancing to music you have heard before,
Smiling, sending laughter back into the thunder,
One hand touching magic.
Wake up! The light has changed
And you’re almost there.
No, I don’t call myself a poet. Yet I’m putting together (some of which is adding to) a book of songs and poetry and some pieces that might be called essays under the title, “Love songs for Cynics.” The problem is, more blues than love songs. So, I’m working on this. Here’s an attempt:
“Dream,” You Said
If it was a dream, and it may have been… You were in it. But then, you were my dream, are my dream. Don’t laugh.
Your right arm was stretched toward me. Your hand was close, delicate fingers tightly squeezed together. My focus, even as you moved your hand away from your face, remained on your palm; life line and wish line and dream line and fate line.
You rotated your hand, slightly, at the wrist. Your little finger, closest to me, curled in. The others followed. One, two, three, four. The fingers straightened together. One, two, three, four. And again. One, two, three.
A twist of the wrist ended the rhythm. You were pointing at me.
The last knuckle of your pointer finger moved, slightly, then re-straightened. Your thumb remained up, like a hammer on a pistol. You pulled it back with the thumb and first finger of your left hand. The word ‘yes’ was part of a laugh.
You moved your left hand away as the finger pistol recoiled. The fingers on both hands exploded out. You laughed. “Poof” was the word within this laugh.
Your right hand moved against your lips, fingers wrapped over your nose and left eye, moved, slightly, to your rhythm: One, two, three, four.
Porcelain nails, jade green with ivory tips; ivory, ivory with a slight coral tinge; were almost tapping.
“Dream?”
“Dream,” you said, as you slid your hand down your face, the first two fingers following the ridge of your upper lip: Pulling, but only softly, on your bottom lip. Revlon red lips, since I’m naming colors. Your eyes, fully open, narrowed. Green. Of course, green; translucent, with electric lines of yellow and blue. More blue or more yellow, but always green.
Your right eye widened, a half-breath ahead of the left, to fully open.
“Dream, then,” I said.
Your right hand twisted and opened, almost like a wave. I’ll rephrase. It was almost as if you were waving, but, as you pulled your fingers in, one, two, three, four, I heard, or imagined, a sound, a wave, breaking; up, over, the wave becoming a fist. Open, repeat; one, two, three.
After the fourth wave, you threw your fingers out; that wave hitting a cliff. Perhaps.
“It could be, perhaps,” you said, something like a laugh, but softer, within the words, “That it’s you, that you’re in my dream.”
I’m reserving copyights on the two poems. THANKS for checking out realsurfers.net I am available for complaints and compliments and stories. Write me at erwin@realsurfers.net
I am, not surprisingly, continuing to write/edit my Joseph Atsushi DeFreines short story about a surf trip to a spot in Wales. This is the second drawing I did to go along with the story. I then changed what I was planning to write to go along better with the illustration. BUT FIRST:
A thumbnail shot (forgive me for the thumb… and for thinking it’s funny) of THOR, left, and CONCRETE PETE, and a shot of REGGIE SMART delivering my new-to-me Surf Tech board. NOT a HOBIE.
UPDATE/OOPS- In my original posting, I failed to mention that Northwest surf pioneer TOM BURNS beat me in the race to being 74 years old. He did call me from Cannon Beach to give me the surf report with a subtle reminder, something like, “Yeah; not that great; lots of traffic; got some complaints from friend in Seaside about all the Washingtonians coming down; can’t get near Short Sands; and hey; you forgot my birthday.”
Tom Burns, a few years back, setting up for the next section
Not that it’s a competition, but I’ll catch up with Tom in late August, slightly ahead of Coach Pete Carroll, who, side story, Tom chatted with in the Westport parking lot a few years ago. “Wait, Pete surfs?” “Of course.” Going, still going.
A Little Heckling from the Back Pews
The belief that surfing is a spiritual form of expression, allowing one to move, gracefully, perhaps, through a greater energy, to flow with this gift, and, in a perfect moment, with the stars and the moon and the tides and the other elements aligned, and that the quest for this enlightenment can transform one into a better version of one’s self; this belief is great. And it is real. And I share this belief.
Two things often, to use a once cool phrase, harsh this paradigm: Surfing is fun, one, and two, the reality that even non-perfect waves frequently draw crowds means that too many others are in the water seeking spiritual awakenings, connections with the Universe, and moments of ultimate bliss.
Your quest, their quest, everybody’s questing like crazy. And some are kooks. Not that this is, in itself, a sin.
But some are surfers you’ve surfed with before; surf acquaintances if not surf friends. And sometimes, the fun part includes getting loud, participating in what a guy in the water called heckling; as in: “Hey, you’re doing a lot of heckling. I just want to see you stand up on that board.” My response was, “No.” Hard no, perhaps.
Now, I really hadn’t singled that surfer out for heckling. It was more like I was acknowledging other surfers I’ve known for a long time, as in, “Tim’s on the wave. Tim’s wave! Hey, look around!” Or, if someone was taking off down the line from me, a simple, “Really?” Or, if a big roll through was approaching, “Take off! Be a hero!” Or, if I see three surfers going for one wave, “Everybody go! Everybody… go, go, go!” Or, if someone is directly in my line, I might say, “Paddle!” or “Don’t move!” Depends.
Whoa; maybe I do a bit of heckling.
But when I told this woman to “Paddle. Paddle!” and she got, evidently, a good ride, she mentioned I should have whistled. “You mean, like, ‘good ride’ kind of whistle?” “Yeah.” The next time I saw her complete a ride, I gave her the ‘both arms up’ signal.
When the guy who later, on the beach, claimed to be from Capitola, adding that he once almost burned Tom Curren at Rincon, mentioned my heckling, Thor, formerly of somewhere down Surf Route 101 from me, recently hanging at his sister’s place on Maui, said, “It’s not heckling, man, it’s hassling.”
I deny that.
It might actually be that I was having a lot of trouble adapting to my new-to-me Surf Tech Balboa model. The same length as my well-thrashed Hobie, but with clunkier rails, it almost refused to turn on my first three waves, and while trying a high line on another wave, the board broke free and I dropped, out of control, the trough. This gave me more to talk about when Reggie, who sold me the board, showed up and started dominating the inside waves. And then inventor/entrepreneur Mike Olson showed up, continuing to try to master his wing foil, so I had to try to say something to him on the way by. He said when he gets it on rail, “It really is like flying,” and he did mention how much fun he was having. Fun. Yeah.
So, yeah; a lot of banter/talking, made all the more annoying by my out at sea voice, that all the louder by both being hard of hearing and having to wear ear plugs.
Occasionally, and it seems to coincide with my catching a lot of waves and having a good time, I can’t help but feeling a bit apologetic. Not during, afterwords. Like, maybe, you take my loudness as abrasiveness. I get it. Nothing has come close to ruining a session for me like obnoxious surfers teaming up and disrespecting the true value of the gift of waves while I’m, in silence, praying for a bomb set wave with no shoulder hoppers.
I realize this sounds like a non-apology apology, but I do sincerely consider, as in think to about, briefly, how my being in the water might negatively affect others. Briefly.
Oh, so after Capitola guy and I exchanged a few stories on the beach, and I, as usual, pushed my blog, he mentioned again that he’d like to see me standing up on my board. There may have been a bit of spitefulness, and I hope you’ll consider forgiving me, when I replied, “No, no, and… no.” And, yes, even though I punctuated this with a double flip-off, the friendly sort, and he seemed to take it in the friendly way in which I meant it, I did feel a bit… almost but not quite… apologetic.
Here is the addition to my short story abbout a fictional surf trip to Wales in 1975. I’ve made significant changes, will make more. I will repost when I’m satisfied it works. SO:
Some events are so horrific that, even as they are happening, we wish them, desperately want them to be something else. Not real. In the aftermath we want them to not have happened, to have those few worst sessions to not be real.
But they are. Samuel Hubbard/Jones, in what I’ve long referred to as his ‘lord high barrister lingo,’ described what he witnessed, what we both became a part of, as “Discordant.”
“Discordant? Yeah. Okay.”
“I just didn’t want to say ‘surreal.’ When… when we entered the bath/shower room on the pier at Porthclaw, Claudia… Claudia; she was smiling as if she wasn’t in… that much danger. As if it might be, still, a joke. What was happening. With everything else dark, her attacker and… and she was wearing that summer dress… So bright. I know why you’re asking me this, Joey. I mean, now. I’ve come to grips with it. The image… it’s still there, but it’s… I’ve had fifty years of other images of… of unspeakable violence. As have you. But I can describe every moment; and I have. It’s part of the process. You could… and don’t. This is why you can’t finish “Swamis.” I read… almost all of your most recent draft. Better. You cannot bear to go to those most monstrous, those darkest places, and you refuse to believe that those are the places readers insist upon your going. And, you don’t have to write this, so I understand. And… you’re right, fuck any readers who insist on cruelty rendered so they can imagine it while lying on their beds. You look for sense, for a story, for heroes and villains. For… justice. But, fuck, man, we’re… old. Why haven’t we learned that life is…”
“Discordant.”
“Discordant indeed.”
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