Not a Hobie, Almost Apologies, Addition to Porthclaw Short Story w/illustration, OOPS…

I am, not surprisingly, continuing to write/edit my Joseph Atsushi DeFreines short story about a surf trip to a spot in Wales. This is the second drawing I did to go along with the story. I then changed what I was planning to write to go along better with the illustration. BUT FIRST:

A thumbnail shot (forgive me for the thumb… and for thinking it’s funny) of THOR, left, and CONCRETE PETE, and a shot of REGGIE SMART delivering my new-to-me Surf Tech board. NOT a HOBIE.

UPDATE/OOPS- In my original posting, I failed to mention that Northwest surf pioneer TOM BURNS beat me in the race to being 74 years old. He did call me from Cannon Beach to give me the surf report with a subtle reminder, something like, “Yeah; not that great; lots of traffic; got some complaints from friend in Seaside about all the Washingtonians coming down; can’t get near Short Sands; and hey; you forgot my birthday.”

Tom Burns, a few years back, setting up for the next section

Not that it’s a competition, but I’ll catch up with Tom in late August, slightly ahead of Coach Pete Carroll, who, side story, Tom chatted with in the Westport parking lot a few years ago. “Wait, Pete surfs?” “Of course.” Going, still going.

A Little Heckling from the Back Pews

The belief that surfing is a spiritual form of expression, allowing one to move, gracefully, perhaps, through a greater energy, to flow with this gift, and, in a perfect moment, with the stars and the moon and the tides and the other elements aligned, and that the quest for this enlightenment can transform one into a better version of one’s self; this belief is great. And it is real. And I share this belief.

Two things often, to use a once cool phrase, harsh this paradigm: Surfing is fun, one, and two, the reality that even non-perfect waves frequently draw crowds means that too many others are in the water seeking spiritual awakenings, connections with the Universe, and moments of ultimate bliss.   

Your quest, their quest, everybody’s questing like crazy. And some are kooks. Not that this is, in itself, a sin.

But some are surfers you’ve surfed with before; surf acquaintances if not surf friends. And sometimes, the fun part includes getting loud, participating in what a guy in the water called heckling; as in: “Hey, you’re doing a lot of heckling. I just want to see you stand up on that board.” My response was, “No.” Hard no, perhaps.

Now, I really hadn’t singled that surfer out for heckling. It was more like I was acknowledging other surfers I’ve known for a long time, as in, “Tim’s on the wave. Tim’s wave! Hey, look around!” Or, if someone was taking off down the line from me, a simple, “Really?” Or, if a big roll through was approaching, “Take off! Be a hero!” Or, if I see three surfers going for one wave, “Everybody go! Everybody… go, go, go!” Or, if someone is directly in my line, I might say, “Paddle!” or “Don’t move!” Depends.

Whoa; maybe I do a bit of heckling.

But when I told this woman to “Paddle. Paddle!” and she got, evidently, a good ride, she mentioned I should have whistled. “You mean, like, ‘good ride’ kind of whistle?” “Yeah.” The next time I saw her complete a ride, I gave her the ‘both arms up’ signal.

When the guy who later, on the beach, claimed to be from Capitola, adding that he once almost burned Tom Curren at Rincon, mentioned my heckling, Thor, formerly of somewhere down Surf Route 101 from me, recently hanging at his sister’s place on Maui, said, “It’s not heckling, man, it’s hassling.”

I deny that.

It might actually be that I was having a lot of trouble adapting to my new-to-me Surf Tech Balboa model. The same length as my well-thrashed Hobie, but with clunkier rails, it almost refused to turn on my first three waves, and while trying a high line on another wave, the board broke free and I dropped, out of control, the trough. This gave me more to talk about when Reggie, who sold me the board, showed up and started dominating the inside waves. And then inventor/entrepreneur Mike Olson showed up, continuing to try to master his wing foil, so I had to try to say something to him on the way by. He said when he gets it on rail, “It really is like flying,” and he did mention how much fun he was having. Fun. Yeah.

So, yeah; a lot of banter/talking, made all the more annoying by my out at sea voice, that all the louder by both being hard of hearing and having to wear ear plugs.

Occasionally, and it seems to coincide with my catching a lot of waves and having a good time, I can’t help but feeling a bit apologetic. Not during, afterwords. Like, maybe, you take my loudness as abrasiveness. I get it. Nothing has come close to ruining a session for me like obnoxious surfers teaming up and disrespecting the true value of the gift of waves while I’m, in silence, praying for a bomb set wave with no shoulder hoppers.

I realize this sounds like a non-apology apology, but I do sincerely consider, as in think to about, briefly, how my being in the water might negatively affect others. Briefly.

Oh, so after Capitola guy and I exchanged a few stories on the beach, and I, as usual, pushed my blog, he mentioned again that he’d like to see me standing up on my board.    There may have been a bit of spitefulness, and I hope you’ll consider forgiving me, when I replied, “No, no, and… no.” And, yes, even though I punctuated this with a double flip-off, the friendly sort, and he seemed to take it in the friendly way in which I meant it, I did feel a bit… almost but not quite… apologetic.   

Here is the addition to my short story abbout a fictional surf trip to Wales in 1975. I’ve made significant changes, will make more. I will repost when I’m satisfied it works. SO:

Some events are so horrific that, even as they are happening, we wish them, desperately want them to be something else. Not real. In the aftermath we want them to not have happened, to have those few worst sessions to not be real.

But they are. Samuel Hubbard/Jones, in what I’ve long referred to as his ‘lord high barrister lingo,’ described what he witnessed, what we both became a part of, as “Discordant.”

“Discordant? Yeah. Okay.”

 “I just didn’t want to say ‘surreal.’ When… when we entered the bath/shower room on the pier at Porthclaw, Claudia… Claudia; she was smiling as if she wasn’t in… that much danger. As if it might be, still, a joke. What was happening.  With everything else dark, her attacker and… and she was wearing that summer dress… So bright.  I know why you’re asking me this, Joey. I mean, now. I’ve come to grips with it. The image… it’s still there, but it’s… I’ve had fifty years of other images of… of unspeakable violence. As have you. But I can describe every moment; and I have. It’s part of the process. You could… and don’t. This is why you can’t finish “Swamis.” I read… almost all of your most recent draft. Better. You cannot bear to go to those most monstrous, those darkest places, and you refuse to believe that those are the places readers insist upon your going. And, you don’t have to write this, so I understand. And… you’re right, fuck any readers who insist on cruelty rendered so they can imagine it while lying on their beds. You look for sense, for a story, for heroes and villains. For… justice. But, fuck, man, we’re… old. Why haven’t we learned that life is…”

“Discordant.”

“Discordant indeed.”

Have the perfect combination of fun and inspiration the next time you surf. Remember all original material on realsurfers.net is protected by copyright, all rights reserved by the author/artist, Erwin Dence. AND do write me at erwin@realsurfers.net with your high praise and anything else. So far, I’ve received mostly offers to improve my site for, I’m guessing, money. AND, as always, thanks for checking it out!

The Boys are Back in Town, Watch Out for Dum Dum, and an Atsushi DeFreines Short Story

If I even say Port Townsend surfers, you have every right to ask, “What?” or “Where?” It’s, like, 80 miles, as the seagull flies, from the open Pacific, about 120 miles, as the roads bend and curve, from the actual coast. How could there be waves? Sooo, surfers go elsewhere. Yearly trips to exotic locales in Mexico, or even farther, exotic-er. Lucky. But trips end.

Chris Eardley, fish and wildlife guy, and his wife, Megan, fish and wildlife woman, are returning from Massachusetts, AND he made the possible mistake of texting photos. SO, there’s your, possibly, I’m guessing, typical New England in summer beach scene; Chris with the hat, possibly tied on, and looking very white and kind of muscle-ey (this assessment from another surf friend who got the same photos- and I agree), and an explainer text after Chris wrote, “Watch out for Dum Dum.”

I do not see any discernible wave action in the aerial shot, but I did warn Chris about getting any three hundred yards rides, or any multiple of number-of-rides-to-distance-per-ride that would put him into the area where the tagged great white shark might be lurking.

Meanwhile, surfers in my relatively small group of associates have been spread out across the country. Some are due back from inland, and even way inland. Yeah, great to travel, but it has to be compared to being here, waiting, hoping, checking the forecast… from the comfort of home.

NAM SIU UPDATE- I tried to call Nam Siu, mostly because people keep asking me how his recovery from a devastating illness is going. And because I recently did some work for HOWARD TEAS. Howard was/is a diver, used to surf in the Santa Cruz area, and does some creek water testing. Yes, Nam Siu is another fish and wildlife person. BUT, when I called him, the message was something like, “I do not recognize this number and I will not answer. If it is important…” He did text me, on my other phone, later. AND yes, Nam is ready to surf. All he needs is some surf. “I hear you.”

Here is a short story I’ve been working on while not working on the novel, “Swamis.” My problem with the novel is that, having watched too many shows on Netflix and Prime, and Apple TV (on my computer, thanks to Dru), I’ve decided that I have little time for dilly-dallying and padding and over-exposition. This story has Joseph Atsushi DeFreines, the narrator and main character from “Swamis,” a few years later.

What is true of Joey and is true of me is that rendering horrific acts of violence just seems wrong. Real people turn away from real horrors. Maybe. Anyway, if it seems the style is chopped up… yeah. It is. NOW, I really don’t want to get into, ‘here’s what I was going for here,’ BUT I wrote the opening paragraphs, had a violent act in mind for the ending, and wrote myself into a corner, mostly because Joey’s ‘voice’ is different than it is in “Swamis.” Then again, I’m still working on “Swamis.”

                                    A Three Day Surf Trip to Porthclaw- Fiction by Erwin Dence

Everything I saw through the windshield, wipers half-scraping in an uneven mist, aware of the steep hill to my right and the row of steep shale roofs to my left, was in black and gray, gray on gray; the color of dreams; foggy, grainy, slightly out of focus.

If it was a dream, it was one I’d had before; scenes disassembled and altered each time.

I knew there was water beyond the tight row of dark houses. The ocean’s barely discernible horizon line disappeared as my head snapped back to the road, barely wider than the car in which I was a passenger, left side, front seat, sideslipped around a corner.

Context. “Car in which.” Ridiculous, as is describing this memory, or dream, at all. I knew where and how the story would end. I couldn’t stop it. 

“The brakes,” I thought, or said, in dream-speak, pumping an imagined pedal, hoping for pushback.

“The brakes are a little… rusty.” I turned just far enough to my right, toward the silhouette of the driver, Samuel Hubbard/Jones, the features of his face made recognizable in the glow from his cigarette.

“Hot boxing, Samuel?”

“Nervous, Atsushi?”

There was a squealing, metal to metal, and what was as much a feeling as a sound of tires sliding, almost catching on a wet surface I knew to be cobblestone rather than asphalt. There was a push forward. “Downshift!” The car jerked. It did slow. The cigarette was in front of me. I took it. Because of some not-completely-gone habit, I inhaled.

 “No. Maybe they’re… better.” Samuel laughed. “The brakes. Working.”

I exhaled, filling the car’s cabin with smoke.

Blink. …

Samuel’s car almost slammed against an ancient rock wall; mildewed, decorated with floats, chunks of the foam missing; with frayed ropes; with nets no longer worth mending. These and shark jaws and fish skeletons were secured to posts that had been thrown or pulled into the ocean; but had been returned, cast ashore; worn, bleached, worm-holed, the softer wood in the grain deteriorated. Between the posts there was a meant-to-be-artistic fencing of driftwood; delicate, stripped of bark, branches from trees miles inland.

Blink. I was outside, looking at the car, over-large, something short of a Bentley. Gravel road grime, a faded paint job, and a couple of unrepaired dings kept it from being embarrassingly showy. Still, ostentatious. There were two boards on a rusty rack. Mine was on top; a six-four Gordon and Smith twin fin. Samuel’s was a yellowed, almost browned-out, very thick, seven-two single fin. He had told me who custom shaped it. I’ve forgotten the name.  

“Only surf shop in this part of Wales, Atsushi. They do have gloves, hoods, shit a California surfer doesn’t need. Don’t talk; they might not be fond of… Hawaiians.”

“But posh wankers from some fancy, upper crust part of London are…?”

Samuel was very close. “You’re stalling, Joseph Atsushi DeFreines; get on with it.”

“Okay.”

No. More exposition, more stalling: It was 1976. Without a law degree, and despite having passed the bar, I had couldn’t practice law in California without a sponsor. A sort of apprenticeship. I had just completed a four-year stint with the San Diego County Public Defenders’ Office. Low level paper shuffling, ‘keep ‘em moving,’ hanging out at traffic court, urging poor people to plead out, pay the fine, stay out of trouble, switch ‘non guilty’ to ‘guilty with an explanation.’ “And… I will speak to the judge… for you. What’s your… story?”

“Sincere, contrite” was my advice, “This judge doesn’t appreciate sarcasm.”

This was true. Mostly, though everyone appreciates a bit if the hurtful part is aimed at someone else. I was learning, in my few moments in court, how to… court.

I will mention, to continue to avoid writing about the incident in the bathrooms on the dock, that I was in England because Julie was taking a course on international law she might never use, but one that would help in her not surprisingly quickly advancing career, and, because my storefront law office in Mission Beach was bleeding money, and because I had a passport and an invitation, I dutifully followed my wife.

I had run into Mr. Hubbard/Jones in the hallway of a university town hostel; me with my board in an old cloth Surfboards Hawaii bag. Because Samuel, having identified himself as a surfer, having given me a not-unimpressive list of places he had surfed, was willing to blow off the first three days of the classes, plans were made. I tried to hide my excitement.  

“Better off without the bag around these here parts, cowboy,” Samuel said in a Hollywood western drawl.

“Possibly not,” I said in a Michael Caine influenced rhythm.

“See,” Julie said, “another surfer.”

“Wales?”

“Yes. Waves in… Wales.”

I was, in this recurring dream, as I had been in real life, standing outside a dive shop that had only recently begun selling surf gear.  

Three young men in clothing appropriate to the drizzle were checking out the car, and the boards, and Samuel, and me. It all seemed friendly enough. “I’ve been here before. But… Joe DeFreines… hasn’t.” Samuel said, “He and I… we’re not… trust me, aiming to publicize any spots. Just visiting.”

“Looks cold,” I said, looking at the lines of waves raking the distant breakwater. The small harbor was occupied by commercial fishing boats, mostly, day-trippers; the colors muted. Serious. Two short wharfs, or docks, or piers; I’ve never been clear on the distinctions; framed the view, perpendiculars to the horizontal layers of clouds. The larger building, to the left, was wood, probably stained, gray, originally. The mildew growing on it, green or almost black, was almost orange in some spots. The signage on the Porth Claw Dive Shop, black on white, had aged to gray on gray. “Surf supplies” were listed on a separate, newer sign, along with “Bait, and almost unreadably faded sign that read, “Tackle. Gear. Tanks Refilled while you wait.”

A cinder block building on the dock to the right had an almost unreadably faded sign that read, “Public Toilets and Showers.” There were two entrances, each marked with the broken front two-thirds of a surfboard, bolted into the block, graffiti scrawled, and flyers taped to them: “Surfers,” on one, “Surf Babes” on the other.

“What did happen, Joey?” It was Julie’s voice. Time and space, in dreams, are puzzle pieces, seeking a fit. I could see her reflection when she came into the room at the hostel, two days late from a three day surf trip. She turned on the lights and disappeared. “Are you ever going to tell me?” My unwillingness to fully talk about, to render an accurate image of violent incidents, images my mind wouldn’t allow me to fully see; what Julie perceived as a lack of trust, a lack of faith in her, a wound to any notion of true intimacy, of true love; this had been a major point of contention during our first divorce. Only divorce.

I was aware that a young woman had come out of the shop: Bright yellow raincoat, long blonde hair.  “Claudia,” Samuel said. Claudia didn’t over acknowledge the greeting. Rather, she checked the expressions on the other locals. As did Samuel. As I did.

An old stepside pickup, the step long rusted out, backed in. There were crab pots in the truck bed. Or lobster pots. Cages, really, metal framework, netting. A metal tank took up most of the bed, extending onto the tailgate, water sloshing out of it. Four sets of scuba tanks were secured to the back posts for the racks. Two heavy diver’s wetsuits were flopping on the siderails. The locals looked over at the driver as he and another young man in the appropriately heavy clothing, got out.

“Claudia,” the driver said, as if it was a question, scanning between Claudia, me, Samuel, and the other three locals, “You know these… tourists?”

“Surfers, Ian,” one of the locals, tallest and skinniest of the three, said. “Passing through.” 

“You know these… tourists… Claudia?”

Claudia’s response was to take a breath and shake her head. Not a deep breath. Not a real head shake.

“You don’t know Claudia,” Ian said, walking toward Samuel but talking to the skinny local. “Air me up, please, Barry; if you would.” Barry was moving a high-pressure hose toward the back of the truck, Samuel was shaking his head when Ian asked, “Do you?”

“Everyone knows Claudia,” the young man from the passenger side of the truck, lowering the tailgate and pulling a set of tanks closer, and picking up a spanner, said. “Claudia, your former girlfriend. Former.”

“And… never yours… Ollie.” Ian gave Ollie the reverse peace sign, two finger, English version of flipping someone the bird.

I must have chuckled. Everyone seemed to turn toward me. “She… Claudia… She is in the brochure, for ‘lovely, friendly Porthclaw,’” I said. “I saw it… on the counter.”

Claudia nodded, gave Ian a double handed flipoff, and headed toward the bathrooms.

Ian pulled a set of scuba tanks off the rail, set them on the ground, grabbed the high-pressure hose from Barry and tried to turn the valve. “Still fucked, huh?” He turned toward his diving partner, put one hand out toward the wrench he was holding. “And… fuck you, Ollie. If Claudia’s too good for me… mate…”

Ian held the hose as Ollie used the wrench to turn the valve on and off, several times. “Way too good, Ian.”

I was in the overstocked shop, my hands on the front counter, one hand in a very heavy glove, a pair of diver’s booties between me and the older man, smiling, holding the other glove open. “You’ll appreciate the good of it when you get in the water… son.”

I was in the dark, dank bathroom, seemingly desperate to piss. Urinate. Someone was crying from the other half of the building. Someone yelled, “Get out!” There were sounds of a scuffle. Several voices. One of the voices belonged to Samuel Hubbard/Jones.

“You have to tell them the story, DeFreines.”

“We shouldn’t have been there, Samuel. That’s my story.”

“What happened, Joey? Atsushi, I love you. You have to tell me.” Julie.

“Have to? Julie… I… will.”

I was in the dark. Or I had my eyes closed. “Mr. DeFreines, the court acknowledges the difficulty one would reasonably have in describing such an abominable, heinous act perpetrated on another human being. Your written statement has been recorded and read to the jury. Would you now reconfirm that the descriptions of the attack, the beating, the sexual… assault with the use of the… If it please the court… Thank you, your honor. Mr. DeFreines?”

“I stand by my account.”

I was awake. Or I thought I was. I was alone.

“What is it you’re not allowing yourself to admit?” A different woman’s voice. Therapist. “You say it’s guilt. For what?”

“For being there. In… these… places, and for being… unable…”

“What else do you believe you could have done?”

“They… they call a wrench a spanner. I could have… maybe…”

“Taken it? Stopped it?”

I was back in Porthclaw. A misplaced ray of sunlight hit me as I stepped out of the ‘surfer’ side. I saw the air hose on the cracked concrete. Taut. “Is this what you want, Claudia?” It was Ian’s voice.

There was a rushing of air. On. Off. On.

Claudia was crying, “No, no. No. Ian!” between the sobs and before they became one continuous scream.

I was frozen.

“Joey,” Samuel yelled as he passed me. “Come on!” He jammed between Barry and the two other locals at the doorway to the ‘surf babes’ side. I seemed to unfreeze. I knocked Barry out of the way and pulled on the hose. One or both of the locals said, “Not me. Not me, man,” as I struck each of them, straight shots to their chests.

“Ian,” I said.

“Ian,” Ollie said. “Ian. No!”

Claudia was still screaming when Ian let her fall from the farthest, darkest corner. Samuel sliding on the wet floor, was on his knees when he reached her.

“Your fault, Ollie,” Ian said. “You love her? Do you? Her?”

I looked at the spanner in Ollie’s hand. I looked at Samuel. He shook his head. I looked at Claudia. She was turning away, both hands on her lower abdomen. I looked at Ian, defiant, for a moment. I heard the squeak of the hose nozzle, not quite all the way shut off.

It seems to me that it’s unnecessary if not wrong to describe the absolute… absolute wrongness of moment, the aftermath of an “Abominable, heinous act perpetrated on another human being.” It’s not that I don’t remember; it’s that I do. Guilt. Regret. Pieces I can’t fit back into the puzzle. Still, the next time I had this dream, I took the spanner from Ollie and used it on Ian and his defiant look.   

NOTICES- Original work by Erwin A. Dence, Jr. on realsurfers.net is protected by copyright. All rights reserved by the author. CONTACT- erwin@realsurfers.net

THANK YOU, as always, for checking out realsurfers.net WHETHER you’re here or there or somewhere else, get some waves when you can.

Texts and Incomplete Stories and Drop-Ins and Re-Entries and Joel Visits the North County and…

I got this text with the note, “Who’s burning whom?” Someone is definitely tucked into a small tube (a tuberoonie), and some, possibly entitled, dick is dropping in. This was kind of a ‘guess who’s on the wave’ and a ‘guess the spot’ thing. I immediately thought the surfer was Stephen R. Davis. I’ve seen him pig-dog barrels of any size many times. The kelp fooled me. “Oh? Really? Okay.” I certainly do not want to blow up the spot, which I am aware of, but, hearing it’s often crowded and because it would require a ferry ride, I haven’t attempted to surf there; so… Your turn; maybe you know the drop in dude. For the record, it wasn’t me.

FIRST- I am available at erwin@realsurfers.net

SECOND- You can ignore my previous post. It’s fine. I really don’t like to get political, but… ignoring reality doesn’t do anything to change it, or help us to be better prepared for whatever changes are coming. We all, eventually, must face hard truths that are true nonetheless. ANYWAY, just hyping myself up enough to write something someone might consider as opposing their position, thinking about what really angers/bothers/hurts me the most, I find it’s the level of hate that people who consider themselves good, Christian, American, patriotic (choose one or all- options include ‘white’ and ‘no way related to any immigrants,’ and ‘fuck you.’) are willing to spew, the lack of compassion, the apparently ease with which horrors inflicted on others somehow is some righteous vengeance for wrongs you believe were done to you. A HARD TRUTH I must accept is that I understand where some of this comes from, how easy it is to lose any sense of empathy or compassion, to put myself in another person’s shoes and then turn away when basic decency is ignored, or worse, if inhumane treatment of fellow humans is celebrated. It is, I would think, hard to be SAVED, redeemed, by the grace of GOD, AND to part of the hateful mob. I can’t help thinking about JESUS asking his, our, father to forgive the jeerers and the mob celebrants, “For they know not what they do.” YEAH, use the ‘I didn’t know; argument when you’re searching your soul.

Joel Carben (not carbon- “I’m not an essential element”) and his family are down at the San Elijo Campground. It seems like it’s an annual thing. He sent me this text with the line, “Name the spot.” Because my board surfing life started in North San Diego County, and because I’m just kind of a ‘know it all,’ I wrote back, “Cardiff Reef? It was once, yeats(sic) go, Cardiff Pier.” “Yes, Cardiff Reef, Swamis is peeling in the background.” I didn’t see anything peeling. “There is solid S swell forecasted for the weekend. What’s your call on S swell? It’s like 3 @202 degrees, peaking Saturday. I can surf anything from Cardiff to Swamis.” “I didn’t really study it when I lived down there. It was either waves, or no waves. I was never that fond of Cardiff because it’s always kind. of bbrokenbut you should probably try suicide reef, please. Form of a called seaside trailer. Park formerly called.”

On July fourth, Joel, who started his surf career on Long Island, New York, was a commuter/surfer living in Seattle before moving to the Olympic Peninsula, sent these: “My guess: somewhere between Cardiff and Pipes.” “Yessirf! Cardiff Reef left (not in the photo) Surfed it this AM, nicce S swell hitting.” “Nice. Innsider information. AThe beach, just south of Cardiff ws ccalled stretch mark beach because women who had babies would go there go there.” “LOL” “Also, since I’m sharing all this ancient historical stuff. There was no spot called brown house. A result (should have been ‘it was all called’) Swamis beachbreak. There was a pull out on 101 where the house or houses are now. Good place to check out the surf. Phil harper and I got Busted for sleeping in the back of his Truck. No, we told the cops we had our parents permissiannd they said we did not have their permission. And being 117, we drove away. And when we got back swamis’s was crowded. Of course.”

“Is all this going to be in the movie?” “Maybe” “Can I be Keith’s stunt double please (prayer imoge)” “There are no surfers your age h in the novel. Sorry Keith is not ibn iit either” “But he will be crushed Keith has to have a cameo or I’m boycotting it (Included is a photo of Keith Darrock doing a ‘dab’ cutback on a very small wave close to very big rocks) Or maybe that’s the follow up to your multi million dollar book and movie empire. Keith and his bannd of Strait chasers.” “Sounds good to me. I promised Stephen (R. Davis) he could play Gingerbread Fred. When he and I were speaking.”

“There’s the cover photo.” “Okay, Joel, there might be a tale or two.”

“First session ever at Seaside Reef (coral and wave emojis)” “I think I only served there one time and it was a Sunday and the only other surfer in the water was Donald Takiyama. I did not speak to him. But we did trade-off waves. And there might have beenn a couple of nods.” “Takayama is a legend.” “Takayama.”

Photo of Joel on a trip back to the alternate coast, representing. Most recent text: “I do enjoy surfing here but…”

Yes, there is more to every story. For example, that one time at Seaside Trailer Park… My not-yet brother-in-law and his first wife lived in Solana Beach. My vehicle must have been broken at the time. I got dropped off by Trisha’s mother. Trish was supposed to go but wasn’t up to it. Awkward ride there and back as my future mother-in-law wasn’t a big Erwin fan. Yet, and possibly, ever. Anyway… blah, blah, Takayama.

LASTLY, since I’ve kind of gotten into this Sally Fitzgibbons vortex; I stayed up the other night to watch some Challenger Series surfing from South Africa. Sally won her heat in the round of sixteen with some solid surfing and competitive skills, but some falls and some drama. The winners at the Ballito Pro become wildcards at the upcoming CT contest at Jeffrey’s Bay, so… not really stoked on the Challenger Series level of surfing, and because watching any sporting event live is better than a rehash (usually), I was rooting for Sally. I went to bed, but, luckily, woke up just in time for the quarterfinal heat. Again, some drama. Sally won.

Last night, semi-finals. I stayed up late enough to watch it. Sally was, in, leading with great wave selection, but the eventual winner of that heat, and of the contest, Nadia Erostarbe, got some really big scores on one-move re-entries. Not to be a sideline whiner, but there are quite a few surfers, particularly on the women’s side, who count on the bottom turn to re-entry move for seven or eight point rides, rather than the down-the-line rail-to-rail, with slashing, and freefalls, and stylish cutbacks surfing that garners six point rides, maybe. Anyway, I thought it would be a cool story for Sally… It takes the complete package to win at J-Bay. I will be checking it out, live or otherwise, but probably not until the elimination rounds. Stories. There are always stories.

I AM STILL working on the novel, “Swamis.” Not, like, full time. THANKS again for checking out realsurfers.net OH, and a south swell? Might not work for the Strait.

Humbled and Humble and Remembering and Memorial Day and… You Know, Surf Stuff

Poem. Fear of Crying- “It takes a lot to make me cry, so please don’t try; and if you do, I promise you, I’ll try to make you smile.”

My finger, someone else’s wave.

What We Deserve- We all deserve better; or we believe we do; better or more; less stress, more success; less pain, more gain. Yeah, slogans; the salesperson’s pitch, the trap of new age clap trap; me-ism, we-ism, jingoism. And it’s not that I don’t buy into it. If I put off the work I should be doing, get up early, load up, and drive out for a minimum of half an hour, full of anticipation; by golly, I sort of believe I deserve waves; good waves, uncrowded waves, and lots of them. And I sort of know that belief has no basis… except I want my reward to be as great as my desire, as true as what I imagine it could be.

The Truth is- Sometimes we get skunked. Sometimes someone else gets the wave of the day; someone newer to the game, someone to whom a lucky make on a wave on which the surfer displayed no style, no sign of years of accumulated wave knowledge; and yet, that surfer’s dreams were surpassed. Blissfully so, because a ride like that deserves to be properly appreciated.

Humbled, Not Humble- My most recent surf expedition left me searching for excuses for why I performed so badly; and I hate excuses. Still, I have some: Pressed for time, mind set more on real life than surfing, chose the wrong place to paddle out, relentless set waves. Those are the easy ones. The more fear inducing mind fucks: It just might be true that waves I would have once relished seem daunting, dangerous even. Perhaps my age is catching up with my self-image as someone who tries, as hard as possible, to defy if not deny it.

Still, a Great Session, Other than the Surfing – I got to use my wheelie to pack my board down and back, I met an old friend, TYLER MEEKS, chatted with CHIMACUM TIM, and a couple of other surfers. In processing my latest embarrassment, not that it was witnessed, more that I haven’t been able to not talk about it, I have to go back and take a mental count on other times I’ve been treated unfairly by the ocean (not that, again the ocean plays favorites or that any surfer deserves favor), and there aren’t that many. Did I learn something from my failures? Yes. Do I count the times where I left the water because I lost a fin or was injured or caught three waves in an hour because of the crowd? No. But I can easily recall the sessions in which I was humbled, in which I didn’t live up to whatever standards I believed I had set for myself. Again, belief versus reality.

The John-John Effect- Perhaps you remember a World Surf League contest in France a few years ago: Roll-throughs, brutal death pit shore break; every reason to be intimidated if not scared shitless; and everyone is getting slaughtered… except John Florence. He was ripping the place like it was his back yard. I don’t need to add to that, do I? One surfer’s nightmare is another surfer’s dream.

Cold Comfort- Though I refuse to admit that there is any real value in talking about what I or you or anyone “Used to” do, I do, while wishing I could still ride a six foot board in six foot beachbreak, still wish I could spin and one-stroke into a late drop, crank a vicious hit on an oncoming section, or do a reverse flyaway kickout, and with full awareness that bragging about what I once did only shows what I can no longer do, I do take some solace in my own history; successes and failures.

What Failure Guarantees- A better next time.

Next Time, Man…   

ACTUALLY, I wanted to write something about friends, surf friends, close friends, not that kind of friends. The idea is that we have surf acquaintances, and often, our only thing we have in common is that we are surfers. Some, but not all, of my best friends are surfers. Yes, I have so many writing projects in the process of becoming something worthy of sharing. What I’ve been thinking about has some connection to my last humbling. The gist of the story is that I sort of stole PHILLIP HARPER’S car and drove it to a surf spot I was sure I was going to do well at. I didn’t. I lost my 9’9” Surfboards Hawaii noserider paddling out. Lesson- Hands tight on the rails when turning turtle, arms loose to make it through the turbulence. Other lesson, learned when Phillip, who gave me permission through his mother while he was ill and in bed at the motel adjacent to the Cantamar trailer park, Baja California, Easter Vacation, 1968, had a miraculous recovery when he realized that I was driving his Chevy Corvair with a desperate oil leak to K-38, a place where, on the way down, we saw multiple boards destroyed on the rocks. When I got out and up the cliff, all the other dudes, invited and self-invited, and a very angry Phillip, showed up. I don’t remember anyone asking how I did. Later in the week, an offshore wind made Cantamar, which I had tried to surf because I didn’t have a car and everyone else slept in, became rideable for a while; we surfed some blown out shit waves south of Ensenada, paddled out at a spot that was more crowded than it probably was in North San Diego County, and had some other, non-surfing adventures; fireworks, lack a proper bathroom/shower facilities, a lot of hanging out, and a bit of what folks would refer to as partying. Memorable trip for a sixteen-year-old.

What is interesting to me is that I forgot that I had stolen (borrowed) Phillip’s car until I was writing about this trip, fictionalized, as “Inside Break,” the alternate (in a way) coming of age novel that has been (is still being) transformed into “Swamis.” Because I was thinking about this, I accumulated a list of the cast of the actual incident. I’m listing them here because I will forget the names again. The trip was organized by Phillip’s stepfather, Vince Ross. Vince was borrowing a trailer. He and Phillip’s mother, Joy, and Phillip’s sister, Trish (not my Trish) were to stay at the adjacent motel. INVITEES: Phillip Harper, Ray Hicks, Erwin Dence, Melvin Glouser, Clint/Max Harper, Mark Ross. We were supposed to stay at the borrowed trailer, which did not, and this became an issue have a sewer hookup. But, because of the UNINVITED surfers, Dana Adler, Mark Metzger, and Billy McLean; Mel and Ray and Phil and I got to stay in tents outside the boundary, adjacent to a field of, I’m guessing, sugar cane. There were other American surfers also camped there; way cooler than we were.

If this is in some way connected to friends, Phillip was my first surf friend, Ray was a friend before he started surfing (classmate, Boy Scouts).  I am still in occasional contact with Ray, and credit him with inspiring me to get back into surfing at fifty, after an eight or ten year near drought. I haven’t been in contact with Phillip for years. While I’m fine with knowing something about what has happened with Mark and Billy and Dana, and others, I do feel bad that I might not have been a good enough friend to Phillip.

Tyler Meeks when he had the sorely missed DISCO BAY Equipment Exchange. His hair is longer now. I didn’t recognize him immediately when I last saw him. He is supposed to call me about t shirt opportunities. Call me, Tyler.

What We Don’t Know- DELANA is a DJ on the local Port Townsend public radio station, KPTZ. The program is ‘Music to my Ears,’ 4 to 5 pm on Wednesdays, repeated on Saturdays at 1pm. I’ve caught her show quite a few times when driving. Old tunes, little stories about the artists involved.  What gets me is that at the end, and I’m paraphrasing, she says, “Remember to be kind to those we meet. Each of us carries a burden that others do not see.” What we know about our surf friends is what we have in common; and sometimes surfing is pretty much it. And… that’s fine. In fact, it’s great.

The step parent of “Swamis,” different take on the same era. Thanks for checking out realsurfers.net. Oh, and Happy Memorial Day, and, oh, good luck, Sally Fitz. They may or may not hold the next round tonight. As with everything, we will see.

It’s a Story Either Way

Watercolor skies, hazy sunshine, and, not shown, tourists behaving like they just, like, always go to the beach, always stand on the bluff, a hand shading their eyes, looking over the conditions. This act, one might consider while wondering if any of the wavelets wistfully washing over the rocks are rideable; is it some ancient and instinct-driven holdover, some bowing to the ocean, from whence all… No, probably not that, it’s just folks posing as seafarers before challenging the elements, taking off their shoes, rolling up their pants legs, holding someone’s hand as they go looking for colorful rocks, all the while while dodging the seaweed and the driftwood and the other revelers, all the while skirting the dying energy of long-traveled waves, the scallops of foam pushing up and… “Damn, that water’s cold!” “What time’s the next ferry running, Honey?”

I should have no problems with tourists and sunny day beach visitors; I was kind of wishing I had a dash cam; saw a dude inn total Huck Finn mode; straw hat, peddle pushers, possible piece of reed in his mouth, possibly whistling: I saw a woman seemingly, this based on her choice of outfit, displaying her extensive leg tattoos while walking her dog (no visible green poop bag in hand), I saw a woman with a green poop bag and no dog, picking up scraps of papers that blew out of people’s cars (not mine- this time); I saw a lot of chunky folks (not that I’m not), and, oh yeah, I did see a bride (this because of her oversized white dress) getting her photo taken. Maybe they were planning on adding the groom (I didnn’t see one) later- trick photography, AI.

Also, while hanging around, scanning the horizon, watching what may have been a slow motion sailboat race, trying to conjure up anything lined up or just decent, wave-wise, a guy, a car with three dogs inside cruised up, one car between us, The non-dog passenger looked at me with an oversized smile. “What are you smiling at?” “Well, I’ve never seen an SUP so thrashed.” “Thank you. I put every ding on it… probably hit every rock on the Strait.” Perhaps it was this obvious exaggeration that prompted him to say, “Hey, I know who you are.” “Oh?” It turns out Aaron (hope I got this right; and, no, not shortboard Aaron- Chef Aaron) is part of the Olympic Peninsula paddleboard scene, possibly builds SUPs, AND is known for bringing food to homeless encampments, stuff like that. “Pleasure to meet you,” I said, maybe; even more of a pleasure to know Chef Aaron is out doing good works.

I went a little too descriptive on describing the scene on a sunny spring Saturday. I’m trying to think a bit more poet-ish. I attended a poetry reading at the Port Townsend Public Library on Thursday, mostly (no, totally) because I want to present some of my stuff there, and this requires being invited by the official PT Poet Laureate, Conor. Since I already e-mailed him some stuff and missed my chance before the readings got under way, I was required to sit in the back, not hear a lot of the poems (they had a microphone, could have, like, moved it closer to their mouths). According to the library manager, surfer Keith Darrock, I was unable to not fidget, and, how did I know that turning off the rinng tone didn’t stop the volume when I thought I’d watch a few heats from the WSL Bell’s Beach contest. Rude. Philistine-like behavior. Uncultured.

Yeah. I thought poets are supposed to be rude if not drunks and/or otherwise deviants.

WSL WHINING- Yes, Sally Fitz got kind of screwed in her heat. It seems, to commenters on any WSL video, that someone is getting over or under scored. Yes. Always, at every level of almost any subjectively-judged competition. Great story when Sally beat current leader, Caitlin Simmers, and she wasn’t underscored in the heat with Brisa Hennessy (and this is a separate argument from the one in which a nine point ride for a woman would be a six pointer for a man- not arguing that, but I do make an exception for Stephanie Gilmore), it’s just that the story for Brisa was that her mother was on the beach AND it was her mother’s birthday. My belief: It’s a story either way.

WSL NON-WHINING- I was talking to Randall, fellow ex-North County surfer. He had also been watching some of the WSL coverage. ‘Did you notice that Encinitas local Jake Marshall was doing really well?” “I did.” We both agreed that he did well because Bells is so much like SWAMIS. “And Caity does so well because… Oceanside; and… ordinarily I’d root for her, but…” “Hey, Erwin, I’ve gotta go.”

SURF ROUTE 101 STUFF-

If you’re cruising up or down 101, before or after stopping in at HamaHama Oyster Company, check out the Historical museum in Quilcene, just off the highway on Center Road. I just added this. ALSO, if you can get behind a log truck, empty or loaded, rather than any sort of RV or anyone towing a boat or a trailer, or both, you’ll get there faster.

SURF REPORT- I almost surfed almost waves. Others did better… elsewhere. “SWAMIS” and ARTWORK REPORT- I haven’t worked on the last touches on the novel; I haven’t done any drawing since I did a couple of illustrations at Les Schwab while waiting for my tire to be replaced. Couldn’t find the tablet immediately this morning. Next time.

LATEST POEM/SONG-

BETWEEN ALONE AND LONELY There is time to reconsider, All the pieces you have scattered from your jigsaw puzzle life, The pieces you’ve discarded from your jigsaw puzzle life, Your jigsaw puzzle life, Jigsaw puzzle life.

Between love and rejection, Meditation, introspection, It’s hard to turn away from bridges you had never meant to burn, You’ve found someone to blame for all the bridges you have burned, The bridges you have burned, Bridges you have burned.

Between midnight and morning, There are whispers in the kitchen, There are shadows on the ceiling, there are footsteps in the hall, Soft whispers, shadows, footsteps that you cannot quite explain, You cannot quite explain, Cannot quite explain.

Between pride and delusion, If you listen in the stillness, There are answers to the questions you’ve been too. afraid to ask, And long-discarded pieces of your jigsaw life, Your jigsaw puzzle life, Jigsaw puzzle life,

Between alone and lonely in your jigsaw puzzle life.

FUTURE POEM/SONGS- “And Then There’s Music,” more. THANKS FOR CHECKING OUT realsurfers.net. All. content on this post by Erwin A. Dence, Jr. All rights reserved.

SOMETIMES YOU GET WAVES, SOMETIMES THE WAVES GET YOU, sometimes you paddle out, paddle around, paddle back in. It’s a story either way.

Frame of Reference and “I Just Wanna Go Surfin'”

‘YOU’LL DO ANYTHING FOR ATTENTION’- This is what Trish, who refuses to look at the cut (and only a cut) on my head says. “I hope it was worth it” is what she texted when she figured out, through spyware on my phone, that, three days after smacking against something (we’ve determined it was a 2 by 2 on a lattice, forensics based on blood splatter) hard enough to provide (?) me with a cut requiring 20 stitches.

The surfing: I did try to keep my head above water, pulling out of sections I would ordinarily plow through or, perhaps, drop under (barrel dodging, not immune); but, sometimes, yes, a real surfer has to tuck in (not bragging, I insist for myself and others, that being ‘in position’ is not the same as being in the barrel). And once I was wet… well… AND I did wash the wound and sanitize it and cover it and… Yeah, worth it.

OTHER PEOPLE’S STITCHES STORIES- Word got around. Partially because I posted a (rare, on purpose) selfie of me with a dressing; partially because I know other surfers AND, allegedly, I love to gossip. Not on a high school and above level, more like junior high. When I, post-cut, post-stitches, talked to ADAM WIPEOUT, he had a WAY BETTER head injury/stitches story from when he, down Surf Route 101 in the wilds of Lilliwaup, was about junior high age: His older brother at the wheel of some giant wreck of a car, two younger cousins between them, they were joy riding around the property. Something happened, like the car suddenly losing power, and power steering, and the car hit head on into an apple tree. Adam, attempting, bravely, to save his cousins from hitting the dashboard by the time honored if never successful method of putting an arm across them, was launched forward, cutting his head on the metal (of course) uncloseable door to the glove compartment. Blood. While his brother hid in a creekbed, Adam ran to his grandmother’s house where, evidently, multiple members of the extended HAMA HAMA families were gathered.

So… blood, stitches and a great story.

Every real participant in surfing and any other gliding/riding sport has to have some stories of stitches or sprains or broken bones. Hopefully your injuries weren’t life threatening. There are truly tragic stories out there.

TIME AND TIME AGAIN- When I was contemplating what to put on my next (like the one I didn’t write for Sunday) posting, one of the things I considered is that, on a recent trip/session, I happened to notice that SEAN GOMEZ, Olympic Peninsula ripper and teacher, has lost a significant amount of hair. Sorry, man; I understand. Others, including DARREN, also have suffered this fate. The realization is that I have surfed around these folks long enough that I remember when they had full heads of hair. If I count my northwest surfing story as having begun when I was a mere 27, 1978, rather than the restart, now over twenty years ago, yeah, my hair was fabulous.

LUCKY OR LOCAL- Not to be bringing Adam into, like, everything, but in a recent cell phone conversation, he said that the session, that I totally missed, in which he surfed two spots many miles apart, on one day, was this time of year, in 2013. “What? That’s like twelve years ago.” “I know.”

Incidentally, Adam, when we spoke, was trying to do a different kind of double; snowboarding and surfing on the same day. There was some late season snow in the Olympics, and Adam, and many others, including those who include surfing and snow-sliding in their lists of sports, took advantage of conditions on, like, Saturday, just before a different wind/storm pattern came in and turned snow reported as powder into something else, not powder, on the way to, I guess, mud.

It seems like a theme around here; conditions are fickle in the mou tains and on the water; get it when you can.

LUCKY OR LOCAL OR LOSER- All the surfers I run into on a regular basis pride themselves on keeping track of tides and winds and buoy readings, As do I. But, now perhaps it was the day off to recover from my injury, but I got word that some lucky souls got some decent surf. “What?” “Lucky or local.” Now, I did text back to complain about using the phrase, that I take credit for, if the session isn’t all time great. It wasn’t. Or maybe it was. It’s not FOMO if you know you missed out. It’s just MO, loser. “Next time,” we say, over and over again. “Next time, man…”

FRAME OF REFERENCE- I was hanging out with AARON and KEITH, two rippers, looking over the high bluff at some waves dumping on the beach. Aaron said it’d be great for skimboarding. I mentioned how I’d seen amazing stuff on YouTube, but it all requires getting thrashed in the shorebreak. SO, we agreed, not for me and my ancient and non-nimble knees-to-ankles-to-feet, me with a known history of getting worked trying to get out of the water and up the beach. Fine.

There was talk of snowboarding and skateboarding, both of which my fellow water-watchers had participated in. I did skateboard, back in ‘the day,’ as in, not lately (see above). I asked Aaron, “So, did you, like, read ‘Thrasher’ magazine and… stuff?” “I was in ‘Thrasher’ magazine.” “Oh, then… Warren Bolster; he was a big time surf photographer who was everywhere on skateboarding magazines? He once blatantly burned me at Swamis; 1970… or ’71. Maybe he was pissed because he’d been filming rather than…” Lost my audience. Aaron had no clue. “You know, guys, I saw a movie about some guys… I think it was Mike Doyle and Joey Cabell, riding early snowboards… in 1968. They were flying off cornices and everything, and…”

Blank looks. I know Keith was born in 1977, a year after my older son, James. “When were you born, Aaron? “1971.” “Oh; so you have no idea.” “No. Never heard of Joey Cabell.” Aaron did a sort of Italian/mobster type accent, with, “Hey-a, you don’t a mess with a Joey a Cabell.”

Of course; my talking about the sixties, or even the seventies is similar to my father talking, or not talking, about World War II, or the Depression. His day. History. Other people’s stories.

Joey Cabell. Historical photos.

ANOTHER SELECTION FROM ‘LOVE SONGS FOR CYNICS’-

I have a whole lotta work, so I’ve just got a little time; I’ve got a whole lot of work, so I just have a little time; now they say everybody chooses their own mountain to climb.

I’m gonna climb that mountain, gonna start about four AM, gonna climb that mountain, gonna start about four AM; gonna stop about noon at a lake that I know for a swim.

When I get to the top, I’m gonna check out the other side; when I get to the top, I’m gonna check out the other side; and if I see the ocean, you know that I’ll be satisfied.

I JUST WANNA GO SURFIN’, now tell me, is that such a sin; I just wanna go surfin’, now tell me, is that such a sin? when you know darn well it’s been a mighty long time since I’ve been.

I’m gonna take off late, free fall drop, carve off the bottom and fly off the top; Locked in so tight the wave spits me out, hit the shoulder and turn one-eighty about; Movin’ down the line like a water snake, saving my best moves for the inside break; Hit the inside section, arching, hanging five; that’s when I’ll know that I’m still alive…

I just wanna go surfin,’ but I just don’t have any time; I wanna go surfin,’ and I’m gonna find me some time; NOW… if you get to go surfing, but you need a good board… borrow mine!

Not that, given the thrashed nature of my HOBIE, anyone would. Thanks for reading, thanks for respecting my rights to my original, copyrighted work. GOOD LUCK on finding some waves worth remembering. When I say, “That wave is gone” it means, partially, it’s history.

The Fine Art of Falling

It isn’t, of course, the falling that hurts or kills you. It is the sudden stop. Or it’s what you fall against. Every surfer has fallen, this getting more intense by having a wave actually causing us to fall, with force, and/or falling on us with more force. And then there is what we are falling into and/or slammed against: Reefs, rocks, gravel, and/or a combination of these, with or without added jaggedess. And then there is the added joy of having our board becoming a weapon that can provide blunt force trauma, a cut from a fin, and/or a stabbing-type wound. Might as well add in other people’s boards, and/or other people. Sounds dangerous.

I suddenly feel compelled to list every actual injury that can be connected to ladders in my fifty-six year (in June) career in painting. This excludes cuts and bruises from knives and scrapers, the smacking of a thumb or finger with a misaimed hammer, punctures from splinters, some quite long and quite deep, from sanding straight grain fir, and other injuries too common and/or ridiculous to list. None super serious.

Despite many sketchy ladder moves and spooky positioning, any of which could have had consequences, and the fact (or my line on the issue) that a ladder has 29 ways to hurt a person, and then one can fall, the number comes in at… tabulating… six. The list of injuries includes TWO sprained and/or broken ankles (never got x-rays) from missing a rung on now-illegal extension ladders that had a missing run on the ‘fly’ section; ONE chest-compression injury from trying to carry too much stuff down a ladder, facing out (heels don’t have the ‘purchase’ feet do); ONE ‘legs stretched to ballerinas-only position injury on a three-legged ‘picker’ ladder after one leg sank in a recent backfill, and one of my feet stayed on the rung; ONE injury from a ‘kick-out’ because the ‘stand-offs’ on the ladder were not on the roof (imagine teeter-totter); ONE accident, yesterday, when, and I’m still evaluating exactly what went wrong, I was coming down a ladder with two buckets of paint, avoiding tree branches, with the ladder in a less than ideal (though frequently necessary) position… AND, I swear, I would have been fine in the tumble if I hadn’t hit the edge of a planter pot.

I probably wouldn’t have gone to the JEFFERSON GENERAL HOSPITAL Emergency Room if there hadn’t been so much BLOOD. This is me in the outfit I was wearing when they released me. “Are you attached to these clothes?” I was asked as a nurse cut my two layers of shirts away. “No, they’re attached to me,” I said as I pulled the very long long sleeved shirt out of my pants (just in time, I was thinking). I was also wearing a beanie, but it got kind of ruined by my using it to hold pressure.

It’s actually quite a story, from my perspective, and I have people to thank: My clients- MARTI insisted I go to the ER. “You look like a Texas Chainsaw Massacre victim,” she said. I checked it in a mirror. She was right. ANDY drove me to the ER and waited until the stitching (20) was done, hung out until I was released, and drove me back to my car. Sorry about the blood in your car, Andy. DONITA, a nurse at Jefferson General, who, informed there was a bloodied painter with a head wound, instantly recognized me, from the back of my head. Donita, who Trish and I have known the entire time we havde lived in Quilcene, acted as a liaison with the staff, mostly saying, “No, he’s always like this. It’s (maniacal behavior and joking in the face of imminent catastrophe) normal… for him.” In exchange, I said, “Donita and my wife and I were all EMTs together. Donita always volunteered to be a victim. I never did.”

The attending physician, KEVIN R. BOWMAN, MD, should also be mentioned. As should that none of this bumping and bleeding was actually painful. Sticking needles into my head; that was. MEANWHILE Trish was calling and texting, the ER folks (of various ranks) were looking for the needles and thread and extractors and other tools, mostly unsuccessfully, some persistent but tiny artery was still pumping, and I was saying things, like, “Reminds me, for some reason, of ‘MASH,’ ‘big stitches.’ MEAN MEANWHILE, Dr. Bowman, having revealed he lives in Bellingham, left himself open to me discussing all things surfing. Him admitting he is trying to learn Wing Foiling led to more discussion of surf hierarchies and ‘adult learners,’ and why I find that in any way amusing.

When it was determined that I would survive despite my killer blood pressure, and while Dr. Bowman was still stitching (“Probably won’t leave a scar.” “Will I be sprouting new hair?” “No.”), I was trying to arrange a ride back to my car. My friend, Keith, who had recently received another (I’m not counting) big ass bruise (on his thigh) from bouncing off rocks, agreed to come get me when I was released, but a woman from the front came in and asked me if Andy could come back. “He’s been here the whole time?” Yeah. So he came back, and, while waiting, we chatted about all kinds of deeply and shallowly philosophical stuff, and Bob Dylan (Andy has a gre-eeat story about a friend of his at Newport, 1965, front row tickets courtesy of Joan Baez). I called Keith back.

This morning Keith texted to see if I am okay. I am. Just a cut. “Good. I was a little worried with the last minute ride cancellation and sort of giddiness on the phone.” Giddy? Me?

Since I’m oh so close to getting my novel, “Swamis,” ready to publish, and my songs/poems collection, “Love Songs For Cynics,” I decided to overwrite an overwrought poem. This one:

The bodies still strewn on the battlefield, fires, once flaring, still smoldering, blood, once pumping, pooled or seeping, quietly, from bodies, once soldiers or shoppers or farmers or children of this or some other tribe, the survivors were, briefly, giddy, out of ammo, fingers flexing and relaxing, adrenaline pushing, unrestrained, from every poor, paused a moment before reloading.

It seems to be a thing we participate in, the ranking of surfers based on criteria other than a person’s ability to ride waves. The ranking system varies but usually is skewed toward the person placing each of us into categories. It was once that the ultimate “Waterman” or water-person was skilled in multiple facets; yeah, but… I took this photo of ALLEN mostly because someone on the beach said it’s, with the roof extension lowered in this image, probably a hundred-thousand dollar rig. “No,” Allen bought it used for Forty grand (not sure if that’s with or without the camper). Points for Allen on one scale. “I traded out about fifteen-hundred worth of work for mine,” I said. I’m not claiming bonus points, but for $98,500 I can make a few trips searching for waves. Or maybe I can buy a newer board. Or…

Again, am I judging? Constantly, though I’m trying to quit. I told Trish that, in the movies, someone who hits something like a planter pot and busts upon his head, dies. “No,” she said, “Sometimes they wake up with amnesia.” She laughed. “You might wake up and not know where you are and ask, ‘how the hell’d I end up in this dump?'” It’s a long story, and with every story, I’m working on it.

Thanks for checking out realsurfers.net. Wing Foilers, non-wing foilers, E bike riders, kite surfers, some e foil riders, some kayakers, shortboarders, longboarders, snow riders, skate boarders, any and all learners or almost masters, of any age, of the fine art of flowing and gliding and ripping and falling are welcome.

I am past the pissed off, embarrassed, relieved, and the giddiness phases. I am still cruising in the thankful phase. For every accident we are involved in, there are so many near misses, so many ‘could have beens,’ any of which would change our story. As Andy said, “There are miracles on both ends; we don’t remember our birth, and our death is still a mystery.” Yeah, I told you it was philosophical.

RIP Tom Decker and Bucky Davis

Surf Heroes, Surf Villains, Surf Legends

We can all break down our surfing lives into where we first attempted to ride waves, the places we have surfed, our most memorable sessions and rides, and who we surfed with. We’ve all run into surfers we admired and surfers we hated- heroes and villains.

While new people are making the same attempts we made, surfers are lost at the other end- heroes and villains and all those who don’t fit into either category.

Tom Decker and Bucky Davis passed on recently. If you surf in Washington State, you have probably heard of Mr. Decker, an ENFORCER at Westport and elsewhere. He may have invited you to get out of the water or not even go out.  You probably have not heard of Bucky.

If Bucky was my first and possibly last surf hero, I never fully bought into Tom as a bad-to-the-bone villain.

-Tom Decker- I first ran into Tom when I first ran into Northwest surf pioneer Darrell Wood when I moved from San Diego to the Olympic Peninsula in late 1978, believing I had given up surfing. In February of 1979, a portion of the Hood Canal floating bridge, the peninsula’s connection to the world, including Bremerton, where I worked, sank. A week later the state set up a horrible boat/bus network and, aboard the passenger-only boat, the first person I met was Darrell. The next weekend I was attempting to surf a point break. One of the locals I met was Tom Decker. He lived as close to the break as he could, worked at a restaurant, this allowing him maximum daytime to search for waves. Tom was respectful of Darrell and polite to me. We tried to make a deal for me to buy a wetsuit from him to replace the only one I could find, a diving suit- two-piece, crotch strap, minimal stretch, super uncool. I did ‘borrow’ the suit, didn’t end up purchasing it. No, never loan anyone a wetsuit.

I heard Tom had moved to Bellingham or somewhere, pursuing a career in filming videos or something, but when I was convinced to go out for a Ricky Young-sponsored longboard contest in Westport in the late 1980s, there was Tom Decker, in my heat. “No,” he said, after he advanced and I didn’t, “I moved here a while back.” “Oh, great.”

I heard stories from Westport surfers who ventured up to the Strait, stories of crowds and locals, including Tom Decker, rebelling against the flow of kooks and people who are, rather than committing any obvious sin, just plain in the way. This cajoling and directing (such as, “Get the fuck out of the water!”) would seem slightly more noble if enforcers were trying to impress upon other surfers that etiquette is important.

When my son Sean was going to Evergreen College in Olympia, and when I had a surf-relationship with Jeff Parrish, husband of my daughter, Dru, I made some trips to Westport. I have written about this, but my encounters with Tom Decker (I remembered him, not sure he remembered me) were, well, memorable. He was still riding a short board while I was making the older-guy switch to bigger boards. Respect for that. His ‘disagreement’ with a guy in the water, in pretty heavy conditions, started when the other surfer blew three takeoffs. Yeah, there is something irritating about this. When Tom mentioned this, the takeoff-blowing surfer snapped back. “Oh, I didn’t know I was surfing with… royalty!” And then Jeff lost control on an attempted takeoff. I caught the next wave, went in. Jeff was running out of the water. “Did I almost hit you?” “Yeah. Why?” “That guy called me a kook, and said I almost killed my friend.” “Oh?”

Tom Decker didn’t call me out. I felt kind of… good about it.

This is not to say I have not been called out for kook moves throughout my career. I have, even fairly recently, and I deserved most, but not all of the call outs. None of the people pointing out my kookish behavior would be classified as villains. I’m perfectly willing to not classify Tom Decker as one. Rest in peace.

-Bucky Davis- I know almost nothing about what Bucky Davis has done in fifty-five of the very close to sixty years since I started board surfing. Other than surfers I read about and saw photos of in magazines, Bucky was a sort of best-example-of if not surf hero. He had that aloof sort of coolness, surfed Grandview rather than Tamarack, dated Trish (not my Trish) the equally cool, even more aloof older sister (and personification off a late sixties surfer girlfriend), of Phillip Harper, my first surf friend. And Bucky was willing to take a couple of freshmen kooks with him on a couple of very memorable surf adventures (Grandview, where he pushed me off the bluff; across Camp Pendleton to San Onofre, to New Break at Sunset Cliffs).

My first attempt at a surf novel, “Inside Break,” used the interactions I had with Bucky and Trish, and what I knew of their real-life story, and in particular, my encounters with Bucky after I could drive myself, and ran into him, as the arc of my fictionalized, undoubtedly romanticized narrative; romanticized in that, in my novel, years later, Bucky and his Trish get back together.

The novel really is about how what we idealize is great, and it’s real. There is magic. Moments of it, hours, possibly days; but there is reality; harsh, mundane, boring. The era was, as it is in “Swamis,” the supercharged mid-to-late 1960s. The reality for someone coming of age was that decisions had to be made changes had to be dealt with: College, work, family, surfing, having a relationship, and the ongoing war, more specifically the draft.

My finite number of actual encounters with Bucky were landmarks on my own journey. There were some similarities. He showed up at Swamis beachbreak in ’68 or so. Surprise. He had fun. We all did. I saw him at Grandview in ’70; I was going to Palomar Junior College and working at Buddy’s Sign Service. My mother had just died in a car accident. I knew his brother had been killed in some sort of incident. We didn’t talk about it. The last time I saw him my girlfriend and I went to Tarramar because Trish didn’t want to do the stairs at Swamis, and because the access at Grandview had been filled in. Bucky was there with a girl I knew from school in Fallbrook. She was pregnant. Bucky and I surfed.

If there is a moral to “Inside Break,” it’s possibly that, contrary to the adage, ‘never meet your idols,’ maybe knowing a little more about anyone, saint or sinner, hero or villain, allows us to know something about ourselves. We need role models, good and bad. That’s not magic; but there is magic somewhere in that knowledge.

It’s not magic if it’s real. Or… magic is real.

Thanks for checkiong out realsurfers.net. I’m pushing Dru to get to work formatting my novel, “Swamis.” I have other stuff I wanted to include today. SO, something to look forward to for next time.

All original work on realsurfers.net is protected by copyright. Thanks for respecting that. NOW, get some waves!

Super Busy Working on Being Forgotten

That may be a bit cynical. I have been surfing a bit (never enough) lately, trying my darndest to make up for a 2024’s bad session/wave count. I’m back to trusting my reborn VOLVO to make it up SURF ROUTE 101 far enough to find some rumored waves. MEANWHILE, rumor-wise, there have been times when surfers just had to check out the Strait. Whether or not it was working, surfers did show up and I did not. The sentiment among those lucky or stubbornly willful enough to live on the Olympic Peninsula is to try to avoid the forecasted days, particularly on the weekends (Friday through Monday, sometimes Thursday -Tuesday) to avoid any crowds.

CROWDS- Here is my wish/prayer list- 1. Waves. 2. Good tides. 3. Favorable winds. 4. Good parking spot. 5. Uncrowded lineup.

OBVIOUSLY there is a correlation between the parking and the number of surfers in the lineup. I have seen days where all semi-convenient parking spots were taken, some with occupants sleeping or making brunch, and the crowd is mostly surfers on the beach watching and waiting. And I have seen days with no crowds and rideable waves.

Here’s what happens: You surf. It’s, you know, decent. You tell one or two of your closest surf friends. They don’t believe you. That’s fair; you don’t believe them when they talk about barrel fests and such.

This lack of belief shouldn’t be a problem. REAL SURFERS do it for the soul enriching wonderfulness of the experience of climbing into a cold, damp wetsuit, booties and gloves and hood, and venturing into cold ass water to surf waves, their wonderfulness in the eye and mind of the venturer. BUT, NO, a little acknowledgement is, at the very least, appreciated. I’ve seen the most soulful of soul surfers surf just a bit better when someone else shows up. It’s the nature of the beasts we are.

BECAUSE I’M candid by nature as well as competitive, I admit, now, in writing, that I kind of enjoy having some sort of reputation for showing up when waves are rideable. I enjoy seeing surfers I know, or recognize; and I collect little stories from many of them. AND, since I’ve shown up less frequently, I… neurotically, self-centered-ly, worry, just a bit, or, more accurately, have considered that I am in the process of being forgotten.

It happens. Years ago, now, I read a piece on some older surfer who quit surfing urging other older practitioners of the sport/art/lifestyle to just fucking quit and become a legend. Sure, but legends only last as long as people remember. Do you remember ARCHIE or BIG DAVE or a growing number of surfers who made the same searches you are making, suffered the same skunkings, found the same rare gems, felt the same chill and the same magic?

MAYBE you do. Or you have your own list. This all leads me to surfing in crowded conditions. Is it worth it? I’ve seen so many times when people piled out of rigs and raced into the water without even checking the conditions, all based on ‘the rule of the parking lot;’ if surfers are out, it must be worth joining them.

AGAIN, crowds are number five on my list. I might just snag a few. As much as I appreciate the atmosphere of even, let’s say, the whole circus-like scene at Westport, my motto continues to be: I’m here to surf.

International Women SURFERS’ DAY- I do not have a problem with women surfers. At all. Some have had issues with me. Understandable. There were fewer, percentage-wise, girls and women surfing when I started. AND, I know I’ve said this before, but my sister Suellen got me into board surfing, our mother drove us and our siblings to the beach because she loved it, and went to better surfing beaches because we surfed.

It isn’t an accident that one of the two main characters in my novel, “SWAMIS,” Julia ‘Cold’ Cole, is a surfer AND a strong and intelligent woman. Persistence is absolutely required for anyone to attain any level above mere competence in surfing, the sport, and is also necessary to fit in as an equal in the art/lifestyle part of trying to ride waves, an objectively ridiculous and so-often frustrating activity/obsession/addiction.

I am pushing my daughter, DRU, to format and, maybe, do a little editing, if necessary, on my manuscript. MEANWHILE, though my painting life has suddenly gotten way busier, I am working on getting pieces together for my poetry/song (mostly song, some essays, some illustrations) book, “Love Songs for Cynics,” together.

Thanks, as always, for checking out realsurfers.net. Get some waves!

Doing the Loop, Sunday Quickie, Less

I’m not giving up any spots. I think this is from San Diego.

I actually don’t have a lot of time this morning. Work, and planning for more work. The winter work famine might just be giving way to, yeah, work. the VOLVO continues to run great, knock on wood, I’m waiting to see if my daughter will kindly format my “Swamis” so I can do something with it, I’m moving ahead, slowly, on getting songs and poems and essays and artwork together for “Love Songs for Cynics,” and… surfwise; with a few notable exceptions, the surf doldrums continue.”

I’ve been doing a virtual dawn patrol lately. No, I’m always checking the buoys (taking advantage before they disappear in a whiff of doge-shit). What I don’t check is the forecast sites. Perhaps it is nice to have Surfline to blame for your latest trip by ferry, and across bridges, and through a few stoplights and past some downed trees on long and winding roads to end up with you, speeding from known spot to known spot, to be skunked. That with the added bonus of hanging out, at length, or hiking in, watching a lack of rideable waves for a number of hours, hoping, waiting, and then considering the miles and bridges and ferry wait times between there and home.

Still, I believe, anticipation doesn’t just ebb and flow; we store it up, tighten that spring, until…

Until. Hopefully, until, for you, is now. Or soon. I have my big, gnarled and thrashed board on my car, I have buoys on my phone, and… I’m ready. See you.

OH, yeah, on an I’m-not-political side note, I am not ready to go commie. Now, or ever. And… I’m not sure even red state, all-in Magamaniacs are really, really ready to go that red. Meanwhile, for book banning enthusiasts, a must-ban is “The Manchurian Candidate,” and any other book that even hints at… whatever that book hints at.